Your attitude is a choice you make. You may have heard the saying “Your circumstances do not determine your attitude, it is your reaction to your circumstances that determines your attitude. If you choose to take a positive approach in difficult times, even during divorce, you can take control of your life.
A positive approach does not mean that you are “happy” about your circumstances, or that your circumstances are not difficult. A positive approach is looking at our circumstances, accepting our reality, having the courage to change the things we can control (taking action) and letting go of those things which we cannot control. A positive approach looks for good in the circumstances, the blessings, the things for which we can be thankful.
I like this essay by Charles Swindoll on the importance of having a positive attitude.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our pasts, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string that we have, and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you- we are in charge of our attitudes.
During and after a divorce, I often see people dwelling on things for which they have no control. I admit I was guilty of focusing on things I could not control, like my ex-husband and choices he made, how he parented our children, the poor example he was setting, etc. It can take time to learn to let go of those things you cannot control and focus on those things you can control.
The next time you find yourself having a bad attitude, stop and take a reality check. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Why do I have a bad attitude?
- Is there anything I can do to change my circumstances?
- How is this attitude serving me?
- What can I do to change my attitude?
- Is there something I need to let go of? If there is something out of your control, turn it over to God and trust Him with the outcome.
- Do I need to change my belief about my circumstances? Sometimes it is our belief about our circumstances that can affect our attitude.
- Realize that you are the one choosing your attitude. Will you continue with this attitude or choose to change your attitude?
So, how is your attitude today? Is there an area where you might need to change your attitude? What do you think you could do to change your attitude? Are you willing to take the necessary action(s) to change your attitude? If not now, when will you be ready?
Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved
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Hi Shelly,
I came across this essay last year and I, too, thought it was a great life lesson. Thanks for reminding me of it and of how important our attitude is to just about everything in our life!