Have you started thinking about your values? Did you start a list? You may want to refer back to the previous post on "Understanding the Importance of Your Values" on Aug. 29th. Which of the words resonated with you the most? Which ones represent the way you live? Are they the same? Did you struggle with having to pick and choose? I know I had a difficult time limiting my values and trying to decide which ones were my top 10-15.
This may help. There are Eight Key Life areas; Work, Money, Living Environment, Personal Growth, Health and Recreation, Community, Family, and God. Pick 5 or 6 words/phrases (from the values list or write your own) that describe what is most important to you in each of the eight life areas. You can use the same word/phrase more than once, if applicable.
Once you discover your core values, you will want to turn them into 5 -10 one sentence value statements. To be sure the statements fit the definition of a value, there are several characteristics of values listed below with questions you can ask yourself.
Values are Passionate
What do I care most deeply about? What am I most willing to sacrifice for? What makes me passionate about this?
Values are Unique
This value could be true of a lot of people. Can I say this in a way that captures what is unique about me? Can I personalize this a little more? If my friends read this would they know it was me?
Values are Lived
How well is this statement reflected in my life right now? How am I living out this value in practical ways right now? Am I living out this value right now or is it something I aspire to live out?
Values are Concise
Can I sum this value up in one sentence? If not, can I shorten my value into meaningful phrases?
Values are important. Give yourself adequate time to reflect and clarify your values. This is a great time to identify your values and determine how you can live them out, if you are not living them out already. How might you make changes in your lifestyle, career, how you spend your time, money or energy to be more consistent with your values? Is there something you can pursue now that you were not able to pursue before? a hobby? taking care of yourself? learning something new?
Once you come up with ideas of how you can live out your values. Focus on an idea, set a specific goal, be realistic, make sure it is attainable, measurable (how will you know when you have reached it?) and give yourself a time frame for accomplishing it ( month, 3 months?) Tell someone you trust about your goal, ask them to hold you accountable and to follow up with you and your progress.
Becoming aware of your values and what you can do to improve your life, after a divorce, can be very empowering. This process helps you focus on what you can control, your future and moving forward. Develop a "can do" attitude and take action in creating a future you want to live.
copyright 2008 Shelley Grieser
