My previous post was directed to single parents with regard to children going on vacation with their other parent. As my children left on vacation this past week with their father, many thoughts came to mind that I wanted to share with you.
In my last post I explained how I had dreamed of taking my children to Disney World as a family. I mentioned how crushed I was when my ex-husband was the one who took our children to Disney World for the first time. It just so happens my children are currently vacationing in Florida. You see, their grandmother bought a condo in Florida several years ago. So, once again my children will be visiting the Disney World theme parks. This may be their 4th or 5th visit to Orlando.
As I reflect back, it was tough letting go of the Disney World hopes and dream. To this day, I do not believe my children have any idea how painful it was for me not to experience Disney World with them as young children. I have had to accept that Disney World vacations and memories will be with their dad.
On the other hand, my children and I have vacations we take that are special to us. My sister and brother-in-law live on a farm in Kansas. My kids love going to the farm and exploring the many opportunities the country and farm provide. Last summer my children and I went to the Night Vision festival on the western slope of Colorado. Night Vision is a two day contemporary Christian music festival. It is not likely that their father would choose to attend such an event.
The point I want to make is that children of divorce can end up getting a broader variety of experiences. If my ex-husband and I were still married, attending the Night Vision festival and Contemporary Christian concerts probably would not happen. Children of divorce may have the opportunity to take more vacations because of their family situation. Also, when you are the decision maker, your choice of vacation may be different as a single parent than it was as a married couple.
For those of you with young children, sending your children off on vacation with the other parent does become easier over time. For my children, their “normal” family vacation has been separate vacations with each parent. Although this is not what I would have ever wished for my children/family, it is our reality. Their father has taken them on vacation to places I probably would not choose to take them. Yet, they enjoyed the trip and the experience.
My advice to you as a single parent;
- Think of your children. Is there something you can do to help them have a good/better attitude about taking a trip, if they do not want to go?
- Put your feelings aside. Show them a good attitude.
- Ask yourself what you can do to support and encourage your children, to enjoy their vacation with the other parent.
- Reassure them that you will be okay while they are away. Some children worry about the parent not going on the trip.
For more information on how you can support your children when they go on vacation with the other parent, you can read my Ezine article; Single Parents: When Your Children Go on Vacation with Your Ex. This article provides ideas on what you can do and need to do for your children when they take vacation with their other parent.
Next time, I will share some final thoughts on children and vacations. In the meantime, should you have any ideas or comment you would like to share, please feel free to post them below.
Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.
