Being a single parent can be exhausting and challenging, particularly when you have small children. Younger children require more parental supervision, assistance, time and effort.They have no concept of the amount of work and effort it takes to be a parent, let alone a single parent. Most single parents do not have anyone to step in when they are struggling, need a brief break, a word of encouragement, appreciation,or support.
Typically when parents divorce, one parent rarely tells the other parent what a great job they are doing, how much they appreciate them and all that they do for the children. Unless a parent has family near by or a good friend to encourage them and/or recognize all that they do, they can easily feel unappreciated. I would venture to say that older children may often take their parents for granted and/or fail to express their appreciation to their parents.
My children were 2 years and 4 years old when their dad moved out of our home. I loved my children dearly and I believe I took good care of them. I am not suggesting that we mother our children expecting or looking for recognition. The point I want to make is, I know how draining it can be both emotionally and physically when the children are young and there is no one to help when you need a break. Sometimes you feel like you give and give and give and it would be nice to feel appreciated, or hear some encouraging words. I wonder if there are any other mom’s or dad’s out there that have had the same experience?
When holidays come like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, the responsibility of helping children celebrate their Mother or Father usually falls on the other parent. If you are recently divorced, you might be saying to yourself, but I don’t feel like doing anything for my ex-wife for Mother’s day.
This is when you need to put your feelings aside. This is not about you. It is about helping your children honor and celebrate their mother. Their mother is still their mother. She deserves to be recognized and acknowledged for who she is and all she does as a mother.
Remember Father’s Day is just around the corner. If you do not help your children acknowledge your ex-wife on Mother’s Day, do not expect her to help the children with Father’s Day. This is about the children, not you and your ex-wife. You may very well be setting a precedence for the future with how you choose to recognize Mother’s Day.
Recognizing Mom on Mother’s Day does not have to be about money, or how much money you spend. You can help children make a gift and a card for their Mom. Take a picture of the kids yourself and frame it, or go have their picture taken somewhere like Walmart or Target. Let the kids come up with an idea of what they want to do or give her for Mother’s Day. Whatever you do, be sure to recognize mom on Mother’s Day.
Please feel free to share your experience, ideas or suggestions on how you or your former spouse handle recognizing Mom on Mother’s Day. Your thoughts may help someone else.
Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.
