I spent much of this past weekend with Walt Mueller. Walt Mueller is the founder and President of the Center for Parent/Youth Understandingand has been working with young people and families for 31 years. As a result of his work with CPYU, Walt has become an internationally-recognized speaker and author on contemporary youth culture. He has written extensively on youth culture and family issues and is the author of many books.
My church invited Walt to come speak to our community 2 years ago. (He is a very popular guy!) As a member of the Student and Family Ministry Committee working with middle school and high school students and parents, the need to understand youth culture has become more apparent. As a single parent I have tried to attend various parenting lectures or presentations when I can. I have heard numerous stories about the challenges of parenting tweens and teens. I realize I will need all the help I can get.
Listening to Walt's presentations I have a better understanding of just how different it is for kids growing up today. One of the differences he noted; for those of us who grew up in the 60's and 70's, there was a more universal standard of what was "right" and "wrong." Then, media in the 80's became more "feeling" focused. Today, the media leads us to believe everyone decides for themselves what is "right" and what is "wrong." Kind of scary when you think about it.
He really opened my eyes to the volume of messages our kids receive every day and the way the media markets to our kids. I became aware of how our kids are not equipped to accurately interpret the messages they are receiving. Walt was not an "alarmist" about the media. He did help me realize that as parents, we need to take an active role in being informed of what our kids are watching on t.v., what they read, and to listen to their music.
This is a bit frustrating for me as a single parent. Several years ago my ex-husband decided to buy my son a t.v. for his room at his house. A couple of years later, he bought one for my daughter's bedroom. At our house, my children do not have t.v.'s in their rooms and they have never asked to have a t.v. in their room. As a result, my children have inconsistent rules between houses.
I have been to several parenting presentations and time after time you hear what a bad idea it is to allow children to have t.v.'s in their rooms. Personally I like to be able to know and see what my children are watching. If something is inappropriate, too violent, or poor subject matter I have my children turn it off or change to an acceptable show/channel.
Once again, I can only control the rules at my house. Over the years I have learned when things come up where my ex-husband and I see things differently, I will at least express my view point to him. I plan to carefully provide him with information and resources on the issues of having a t.v. in kid's bedrooms. I honestly don't know if it will change anything. For my kid's sake and my peace of mind, I feel like it is worth a try.
I hope you will check out the CPYU site above and make a point to be more aware of what your kids are watching, hearing, seeing and reading. Our kids really do need help in processing media messages, so they do not just buy into what the media/world tells them.
How about you? Are you aware of what your kids are watching, seeing, reading and hearing from the media? Do you help them process the messages being marketed to them? Please share your thoughts and/or experiences in the comments below.
copyright 2008 Shelley Grieser All rights reserved
