Divorce can bring out the worst in people. There is so much emotion involved, anger, frustration, confusion, hurt, rejection, sadness, and grief. Your spouse may have been unfaithful, lied to you, betrayed your trust, abused you emotionally or physically, been controlling, manipulative, even a narcissist. You may have every right to be angry.
Divorce can lead people to say or do things they would never normally do or say. If you are not the one who initiated the divorce, you may feel helpless. It is normal to be angry. Often when you are hurting you want the other person to hurt, too. It seems so unfair.
Whatever you do, keep your children out of the situation. In other words, do not bad mouth your spouse to the kids. Do not put them in the middle and make them take sides. Do not use them to try and hurt the other parent. Do not share information about the other parent or the divorce, that they do not need to know, especially if it is not age appropriate for them.
As hard as it may be, take the high road. Don’t stoop to revenge, to try and make your ex-spouse pay for what he/she has done. Leave that up to God. He is your vindicator. Trying to repay evil for evil will not get you anywhere. Remember when you sow a bad seed, you will reap what you sow.
It may seem like the other person is getting away with something. If there is another person involved it may seem that your ex-spouse is happy and lovin’ life right now, while you are miserable. Put your faith in God. Let Him be the judge and your vindicator. We all reap whatever we sow, sooner or later. It is only a matter of time.
Taking the high road means you can look at yourself in the mirror with a clear conscience. You can hold your head up knowing you did the right thing, even when it was hard. The Bible says God will restore what the locust have eaten and you will receive a two fold recompense for your troubles. God will reward you for doing the right thing, doing the hard thing. It’s never too late to choose the high road. You can begin right now. Trust me, you will be glad you did.
Copyright 2008 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.
