Divorce: Choose Your Friends Wisely!

If you are in the process of divorce, or if your divorce is final, what did you discover about your “friends” through this process? Did some people distance themselves while others drew closer to you? Were you able to determine who was truly your friend?

Divorce can make people uncomfortable. When people are uncomfortable and do not know how to handle a situation, they may avoid it all together. I often hear people say they would like to help someone going through a divorce, but do not know the best way to help. Sometimes when people distance themselves from us, it may be that they just don’t know what to do.

After divorce we no longer have a spouse, so our friends become even more important. We may rely on our friends to help us make decisions, to get another opinion, to bounce ideas off of them. If you do not have family near by, you may spend holidays with your friends and their families.

Since my children were 2 years and 4 years old when their dad moved out, I am thankful for the role my good friends and their families have played in my children’s lives. My children have been able to witness positive role models of good marriages, Christian families and intact families from our close friends.

If you have children at home, your children are watching you and the choices you make. The people we choose for friends will impact not only our lives but also our children’s lives. They will learn a lot about relationships, friendships and dating by what you model for them.

Choose your friends wisely. If you attend a Divorce Recovery group and make new friends, seek out like minded individuals. Use discernment and caution. Try to discern if the person desires to get healthy and move forward, or if the person is bitter and focused on the past. Divorce Recovery groups can be a great place to vent and process your feelings with people who can relate to your pain. However, it can be emotionally draining and unhealthy to be around people who remain stuck in the past with a negative attitude.

If you would like to read more about friends and divorce, you can read my recent Ezine article; Divorce: Who are Your Friends?

If you have an experience or thoughts on friends and divorce that you would like to share, feel free to comment below.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.