Are you feeling confused, or did you feel confused by your divorce? For many of us, when we got married we repeated wedding vows along the lines of “For better for worse, until death do us part.” I remember when my husband first mentioned the “D” word, I thought to myself, what about our wedding vows did they not mean anything? How could my husband have misunderstood the vow to mean “For better for worse, or until I change my mind?”
If God hates divorce, how can this be happening? It doesn’t make sense. This is not how the dream is suppose to turn out. Trying to understand how one partner reaches the decision that they want to get divorced can be very confusing for the other partner. In your quest to understand did you ever ask “Why God Why?” How can this be happening?
I think it is only natural to want to understand. In our pursuit of understanding we try so hard to figure it out with reasoning. Reasoning leads to confusion. Confusion can be so frustrating and stressful. God does not want us to be confused. Satan is the author of confusion.
1 Corinthians 14:33 (Amplified Bible) For He [Who is the source of their prophesying] is not a God of confusion and disorder but of peace and order.
If you are like many people who just don’t understand why their marriage had to end in divorce, might I suggest stop trying to figure it out. Trying to figure it out will drain you. Confusion is a battle in your mind that you are not likely to win. Don’t give into the temptation of reasoning, needing to figure it out. Somethings we may never understand. We may never get the answers and explanations we desire or feel we deserve. We can waste an awful lot of time, and energy trying to figure it out.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (Amplified Bible) For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,
[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),
If the Word instructs us to not try and figure things out, then we need to listen and obey. Sometimes only God knows the answer and He is not telling us. We need to trust Him. If we are to find out or understand, He will reveal it to us in His time. This is when we need to develop an attitude of faith.
How about you, did your divorce cause you confusion? How did you handle the confusion? Did you try to reason and rationalize it? Did you ever get an acceptable answer? Are you still trying to figure it out or have you let it go? Please feel free to share your thoughts below.
*I should clarify here that I believe we can and should ask questions of our spouse. You may or may not get an answer. The answer you get may not be acceptable in your eyes, or you may not understand it. I am not suggesting you be passive. We can certainly ponder a situation. It is when we get into confusion, rationalizing and reasoning that we need to turn it over to God.
Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights reserved.
Amen. Trying to figure it out will make you CRAZY!