Today marks the 6th anniversary of my divorce being final. Although I can honestly say I would not want to be married to my ex-husband, this anniversary still brings a sense of sadness each year. Sad that my childhood dream of getting married, having a family and growing old with my husband (father of my children) will not happen. Sad that my children have not experienced an intact family role model that they can remember (because they were so young.) Sad that my children have to be raised in two different homes and the extra challenges it ultimately places on them.
When I reflect back over the past 6 years (even longer if we go back to when the marriage problems surfaced) I can also see how far I have come, how much I have grown as a person and how much I have learned along the way. I have had the opportunity and freedom to discover "who " I am, who I was created to be, uncover my passion and pursue my purpose in life.
If I was still married to my ex-husband, I would have missed out on so many things. I would not be the person I am today. I would have missed out on some great friendships, opportunities to experience new and different things that are reflective of "who" I truly am. My children would not know the real me.
Most importantly, it was marriage problems that brought me into a true "relationship" with God. It has been my relationship with God that has changed me into a different person, a better person. My desire to know Him and learn about Him, took me to Bible Study Fellowship and then Beth Moore Bible Studies. God lead me to Divorce Recovery, therapy, a Single Mom's Support Group, raised up friends and a support system through these avenues and my church.
I thought my support system was back in Kansas when I headed down the path of divorce, but God raised up a stronger, healthier, caring support system right here in Colorado. I remember some of the more stressful times of my divorce process, experiencing a peace that I could not explain. It has been God's faithfulness, mercy, comfort, healing and provision that have given me the courage, strength and ability to endure and persevere through the path of divorce. And, His faithfulness continues through the challenges of being a single mom, maintaining a home, loneliness, finances, co-parenting and becoming an entrepreneur.
To quote my Divorce Recovery Leader again, "I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy and yet I would not trade what I learned going through it for anything." Today, I briefly mourn the death of a childhood dream and then rejoice and praise God for His goodness, grace and faithfulness to me.
I conclude with two of the scriptures that helped me through this unpleasant life experience, called divorce.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (NIV)
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (NIV)
Copyright 2008 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved
You are strong. I appreciate your insight to this painful process. I am just starting down this road. My h filed in June and am not sure how things will turn out. I am trying to focus on improving myself and staying close to God. I know He will bring good from this situation. That promise is my only hope in this life!