In my last post I mentioned something that I heard Beth Moore (Bible Study leader, author, speaker) say recently, “All excess is rooted in emptiness.” When I paused to think of people I know who have excess in their life, I thought Wow! that makes sense.
Beth Moore mentioned numerous ways we can be in excess. We not only fill our emptiness with an excess of ”stuff,” but we can be in excess with food, alcohol, drugs, pornography, exercise, gambling, working too much, volunteering too much, etc. If you would like to read more about ways we fill our emptiness after divorce, I recently wrote an article Divorce – How Will You Fill the Emptiness?
When I paused to think of times I have experienced the greatest emptiness, there are two times that immediately come to mind. The first being my divorce and the second when my mother passed away two years ago. So how did I fill my emptiness?
When my marriage problems surfaced, we had only lived in Colorado for a year. My emptiness was magnified by not having close friends or relatives near. It was at this time that I truly entered into a relationship with God. If you are a Believer, you know that God created us with a desire to know Him and be in relationship with Him. Although we try to fill that emptiness with many other things, He is the only one who can fulfill that need.
For me, I began seeking God to fulfill my emptiness. I enrolled in my first Bible study, began watching Joyce Meyer on t.v., got involved in my church, and was in counseling with a Christian Therapist. As is often the case with new Believers, you desire to know more and more. Thankfully it was through this journey that God began raising up a support system and circle of Christian friends.
There are positive ways to fill the emptiness in our lives. Can you think of positive ways you might fill the emptiness left from divorce? On this journey called life, we will all experience times of emptiness. How we fill that emptiness may be different each time, or it may escalate a habit or behavior to the point of excess. I can recall times I have been in excess in my life. If I am honest with myself, I was trying to fill a void or emptiness. Of course that is clear to me now, but it wasn’t at the time.
Next time you find yourself doing something in excess (good or bad) pause for a while and ask yourself if you might be trying to fill some emptiness. Try to work through your emptiness. Seek help from a counselor or a trusted friend, if necessary. Ask yourself what you can do to fill your emptiness in a healthy way. How do you tend to fill emptiness in your life? Feel free to share your thoughts and/or ideas below.
Copyright 2008 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.
Hello Shelly,
I finally had my divorce hearing after two long years waiting. It wasn’t something I wanted but had to accept and did my best in growing from the experience. It really did bring me into a new relationship with God, deeper than I had or could have imagined. But when I had to see my ex and hear her tell her hateful lies it still hurts deeply. I think loving someone that doesn’t acknowledge God in their life makes it even harder because it is so foreign to the wholeness we feel in His Spirit. It wasn’t what I expected but I know it is a pain to embrace and heal from. I was looking for an answer to that pain and I am thankful that I found some solace in your words.
Thank you, George
Thank You for your comment, George.
Although I did not have to experience a “hearing” my divorce process took almost 2 years after a 13 month separation. Like you, it was not something that I wanted, but knew that I wanted to learn and grow from it. I applaud you for persevering through the pain and growing deeper in your relationship with God. My ex also did not have or acknowledge God in his life, so I will say that my divorce gave me the freedom and ability to grow and develop my relationship with God and to instill my beliefs and Christian values in my children. My divorce recovery leader use to say ” I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy and yet I would not trade what I learned going through it, for anything.”
It sounds like you are on the right path, accepting what you cannot change, doing something about what you can (yourself) and leaning on God. He will continue to comfort you, heal you and restore you.
May God Bless you, George.
Shelley