It is normal to feel an emptiness during and after a divorce. Some people might even say that they felt an emptiness while they were married. As I was listening to Beth Moore, one of my favorite Bible study leaders, speakers and authors recently, she said “All excess is rooted in emptiness.”
This week we are about to officially enter the Holiday Season. For many people this is a season of “excess.” This is a time when people often buy gifts for the sake of giving a “gift.” During this season people are more likely to overspend, to buy more than they should, buy things people don’t need or want, buy things to keep up with the Joneses.
If you are in a season of emptiness from divorce, you may be more susceptible to falling into this season of excess. Be careful of your spending this holiday season. Be a conscious shopper. Think before you buy. Possibly your Christmas list has been reduced and you no longer buy for your ex-spouse’s family/relatives.
If your funds are tighter this year, (as they may well be) don’t feel like you have to live up to the level of spending or gifts you did when you were married. Find ways to be creative and cut back or start a new tradition of drawing names, putting a spending limit on gifts that you exchange.
If you have children, do not get into a competition with your ex-spouse over who will buy the best gifts, the most gifts, etc. Often times parents will try to show their love or win their children’s loyalties by buying them ”stuff.” Don’t get caught up in this trap.
Think about what you might do differently this year. Now is a great time to make changes. Next post, I will continue with more on excess and emptiness. Feel free to leave your thoughts or comments below.
Copyright 2008 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.
