If you are a single mom with children at home, what are you doing to help your children celebrate Father’s Day? If you are not on good terms with your ex husband, or maybe you just don’t like him right now, you need to put your feelings aside. Your ex-husband is still the father of your children. He deserves to be remembered on Father’s Day.

If your former-in-laws live near you and you can ask them to help your children honor their father on Father’s Day, then great. For many of us that is not an option.

If your ex-husband did not help the children do anything for you on Mother’s Day, you might be thinking well I am not going to do anything for him on Father’s Day. I know this can be difficult, but I would encourage you take the high road. Think of the children and what you are teaching them.

If you have small children they will certainly need your help and direction. Why not give them the materials they need to make something for their father? Is there a craft they like to do? Can they draw a picture of what they like to do with their dad? Do you have a cute photograph of the child(ren) that you could frame to give him?

Another idea that also works with older children, is give them a dollar amount and take them to the mall or a store and let them pick something out. Having the child make a Father’s Day card to go along with the gift can also be more personal and meaningful. Let the child wrap the gift, too.

For older children you may need to remind them to do something for Father’s Day. If they need your help with gift ideas, be willing to give them suggestions. If money is tight, suggest the older child create a coupon telling their dad that they will do some specific chore for him, or project. Maybe the child(ren) plan and prepare dinner, and/or plan a day or evening of doing something that their dad likes to do for fun. When kids get older and spend less time with their parents, spending quality time with the parent could be a real gift itself.

If doing something for Father’s Day is difficult for you, I encourage you to push past your feelings and help your children celebrate their father on Father’s Day. He is their father. As much as you may not feel like celebrating him, he deserves to be remembered. I hope you will do the right thing and go help your children.

This post is written from the perspective of generally speaking. I understand that there are situations where a father may have been abusive, or a father child relationship may not be healthy.

However, I am familiar with cases where divorced parents do not have an amicable relationship. In these situations I have known parents who do not want to do anything for the other parent, and yet there may not be anyone else to help the children. This post is meant to encourage adults to think of their children, putting their personal feelings aside.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

Tweet This Post

How will you spend Mother’s Day? Did your family use to plan your Mother’s Day or did you choose what you wanted to do on Mother’s Day? If you live near your mother, possibly you celebrate with your mother? If you don’t live near family and your kids are still living at home, chances are you may need to plan your own Mother’s Day.

It may seem strange or possibly you feel selfish planning your own Mother’s Day. Yet, I encourage you to do something special for yourself and not feel guilty. If you are a Mother you know what a blessing it is to have children. You also know that children are a big responsibility. Give yourself permission to do something special.

Some ideas of What to Do on Mother’s Day

• Get together with one or more single mom’s and their kids.

• Have a potluck picnic or dinner with other single mom’s.

• Prepare one of your favorite meals, or special desserts.

• If you are brave enough to navigate the crowds, take the kids out to dinner.

• Order carry out from one of your favorite restaurants.

• Prepare some or all of a meal the day before so you do not have to cook on Mother’s Day.

• Treat yourself to a babysitter while you go do something with a friend; go for a hike, a walk, coffee, out to lunch, work on a hobby or passion, something that energizes you, brings you joy.

• If you are in need of some alone time to go read, to be quiet, to shop, hire a babysitter.

• Hire someone to clean your house, mow your lawn or do some chore for you, to give you a break. 

If you are not able to fit in something you want to do on Mother’s Day, then plan it for another day. Nobody says you have to do it “on” Mother’s Day. Feel free to pamper yourself without feeling guilty.

When you take good care of yourself, the better you will feel, the more energy you will have, and the better mother you will be. Mothers can get so busy taking care of others that they forget to take care of themselves. It is important if you have not been taking care of yourself, that you re-evaluate your schedule and figure out a way to incorporate exercise, better eating habits, things that energize you, quiet time, prayer time.

I pray that all you Single Mother’s will be blessed beyond your expectations this Mother’s Day. May God surprise you and bring you much joy, peace, laughter and love.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights reserved.

Tweet This Post

Being a single parent can be exhausting and challenging, particularly when you have small children. Younger children require more parental supervision, assistance, time and effort.They have no concept of the amount of work and effort it takes to be a parent, let alone a single parent. Most single parents do not have anyone to step in when they are struggling, need a brief break, a word of encouragement, appreciation,or support.

Typically when parents divorce, one parent rarely tells the other parent what a great job they are doing, how much they appreciate them and all that they do for the children. Unless a parent has family near by or a good friend to encourage them and/or recognize all that they do, they can easily feel unappreciated. I would venture to say that older children may often take their parents for granted and/or fail to express their appreciation to their parents.

My children were 2 years and 4 years old when their dad moved out of our home. I loved my children dearly and I believe I took good care of them. I am not suggesting that we mother our children expecting or looking for recognition. The point I want to make is, I know how draining it can be both emotionally and physically when the children are young and there is no one to help when you need a break. Sometimes you feel like you give and give and give and it would be nice to feel appreciated, or hear some encouraging words. I wonder if there are any other mom’s or dad’s out there that have had the same experience?

When holidays come like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, the responsibility of helping children celebrate their Mother or Father usually falls on the other parent. If you are recently divorced, you might be saying to yourself, but I don’t feel like doing anything for my ex-wife for Mother’s day.

This is when you need to put your feelings aside. This is not about you. It is about helping your children honor and celebrate their mother. Their mother is still their mother. She deserves to be recognized and acknowledged for who she is and all she does as a mother.

Remember Father’s Day is just around the corner. If you do not help your children acknowledge your ex-wife on Mother’s Day, do not expect her to help the children with Father’s Day. This is about the children, not you and your ex-wife. You may very well be setting a precedence for the future with how you choose to recognize Mother’s Day.

Recognizing Mom on Mother’s Day does not have to be about money, or how much money you spend. You can help children make a gift and a card for their Mom. Take a picture of the kids yourself and frame it, or go have their picture taken somewhere like Walmart or Target. Let the kids come up with an idea of what they want to do or give her for Mother’s Day. Whatever you do, be sure to recognize mom on Mother’s Day.

Please feel free to share your experience, ideas or suggestions on how you or your former spouse handle recognizing Mom on Mother’s Day. Your thoughts may help someone else.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

Tweet This Post