Divorce is a devastating life changing event. Divorce is more than an “event” it is a process. As in any process there are different stages. The first stage is really when one (or both) partner(s) begin to entertain the idea that they no longer want to be married to the other person. Often times the person who initiates the divorce, has mentally and emotionally left the marriage relationship before mentioning any problem or unhappiness to the other spouse. The initiating spouse can begin a negative downward spiral and be done with the marriage before there is ever an opportunity to seek help and save the marriage.

When the non-initiating spouse finds out their partner wants a divorce, their first stage is generally “shock.” How can this be happening to me, to us? If there is any chance to save your marriage and work through differences, by all means seek professional help and do whatever you can to save your marriage.

If your spouse has informed you that he/she no longer wants to be married, despite your prayers and efforts to save your marriage, I am truly sorry. I know how horrifying this can be. At a time when you are overwhelmed with emotion and disbelief, traveling unfamiliar ground, it can be difficult to know what to do.

Here are 7 Practical Tips for What to do When Beginning the Divorce Process:

1. Pray. Submit your marriage relationship to God. Ask Him for emotional support, comfort, guidance, strength and wisdom. Ask God to bring the right people and resources into your life/path.
2. Ask family, friends, your church for their prayers and support. Submit prayer requests on line to various ministries or prayer chains. Requests can be made respecting your privacy. Now is a time to be covered in prayer.
3. Find someone you can trust, with whom you can share your feelings and process your thoughts and emotions. Talking through your feelings, putting your thoughts and emotions into words, can be very therapeutic and revealing for you. A trusted person can offer a different perspective and/or encouragement.
4. Remember that God is in control, so do not panic. You will get through this time.
5. Contact an attorney in your area to find out what you need to do. You can do some research on the internet to educate yourself on what you might expect. Preparing yourself with questions and concerns will help you to make the most of your time when you meet with an attorney. Attorney fees are not cheap, so take the time to prepare yourself prior to meeting with an attorney.
6. Look for a divorce support group in your area. Divorce recovery groups provide; emotional support, help you to learn and grow from divorce, a safe place to express your feelings, the oppotunity to meet and connect with others in the same situation.  Attending a divorce support group can also provide connections and networking for finding various professionals or services you may need throughout your divorce process.
7. Despite what you are feeling know that; You will survive. You will get through the process. You can do whatever you need to do. God is with you and He will see you through your divorce. Lean on HIm. Trust Him.

I know how scarey the beginning of the divorce process can be, especially if you are in a new location, and/or you do not know anyone else going through a divorce. It can seem like you are the only one in this situation. The sad truth is that you are not alone. The roller coaster of emotions, the uncontrollable tears are not unique. There are others currently going through the same devastation as you.

Each day will get better. It takes time. As time goes by, you will gain more strength. Before long the good days will out number the bad. The time will come when you will laugh, love and smile again. Let God be your strength, comfort and hope.

Romans 15:13; May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Copyright 2010. Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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Yesterday I shared how a friend of mine called me on Father’s Day to ask me to pray for her brother-in-law, Bob. Bob suffered a severe heart attack while walking on the beach Sunday morning and was not expected to live through Sunday night. Given the urgency of Bob’s condition I suggested to my friend that she submit prayer requests on the Internet, to cover Bob in prayer.

As I write this on Tuesday evening, Bob, is miraculously still alive. Yesterday the doctors had planned to take Bob into surgery today (providing he was stable enough) and give him an artificial heart. This would be temporary until he could receive a donor heart. Today, although still in critical condition, Bob’s prognosis has again miraculously improved. He was able to be taken off life support, and remains on oxygen, as he waits for a heart donor.

It’s no coincidence that I am currently reading Don Piper’s book, “A True Story of Death and Life, 90 Minutes in Heaven.”  This is a New York Times Best Seller that was released in 2004. Don Piper is an ordained minister whose car was crushed by a semi truck on his way home from a conference, on January 18, 1989. Medical personnel said he died instantly. His body laid lifeless in the wreckage of his car as they waited for the equipment to extract his body from the car.

Ninety minutes after the accident, while a minister was praying over his body, Don Piper miraculously returned to life on this earth. In this book, Don Piper shares his glimpses of heaven, the accident and his journey of recovery.

He states at the end of his book, “I also believe that part of the reason I am still alive, as I’ve already pointed out, is that people prayed. Dick Onerecker prayed me back to life–to live without brain damage. David Gentiles and others prayed so that God wouldn’t take me back to heaven just yet.”

If you read Don’s story it is a testimony to the power of prayer. I wonder if you have experienced or witnessed the power of prayer in your life, or someone else’s life? Prayer can be so powerful.

The Bible says; ^{Phillipians 4:6}Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  (New International Version)

Although the circumstances I have mentioned were life threatening situations, the Bible tells us to bring everything to God in prayer. If you are on the path of recovery from divorce, you may be in need of prayer for yourself, your circumstances, your children, your former spouse, or all of the above.

If and when you find yourself or others in need of prayer, I have listed below several credible websites where you can submit prayer requests.

Joyce Meyer Ministries look under Everyday Answers section. In the past I received a personal email response to a prayer request. One time Joyce Meyer Ministries sent me a CD of one of Joyce’s teachings that was relevant to my prayer request.

Lakewood Church in Houston with Joel Osteen.

Living Proof Ministries with Beth Moore, Bible Teacher/Speaker. Look under the Interact tab.

KLOVE – National Christian Radio Station Go to the Ministry Tab and then click on Prayer.

Crosswalk – Christian Living Resources

CBN - Christian Broadcasting Network

Prayer For All People This site has an extensive list of sites where you can submit prayer requests. I just found this site while doing research to write this post. It appears to have credible sites listed.

I hope you will find these resources for prayer, helpful in your time of need. If you have a favorite ministry, church or Bible teacher, check out their website and see if they offer a place to submit prayer requests. Feel free to share any sites you have used to submit prayer requests, in the comment section below. If you have stories about how you have experienced or witnessed the power of prayer, feel free to share and encourage others with your story.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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On Sunday I received a call from a good friend of mine asking me to pray for her brother-in-law, Bob. Her sister and brother-in-law had been taking a walk on the beach that morning in Jacksonville, FL when Bob suffered a massive heart attack. Bob is 62 years young and the heart attack severely damaged his heart. The doctors tried putting a shunt in his heart but it failed.

When my friend called me, Bob was laying in the hospital on life support not expected to live through the night. Bob has a daughter that lives in San Francisco. The doctors informed his wife that she should contact any family to let them know the seriousness of his condition.

As my friend proceeded to tell me about Bob, his life, his personality, the challenges he has experienced, Bob became more “real” to me. He was more than a name to lift up in prayer.

It became clear to me that Bob was in need of a miracle and needed to be covered in prayer. I suggested to my friend that she submit prayers on the Internet to cover him in as much prayer as possible. My friend is a physical therapist, does not need the Internet for her job, so not very Internet savvy. She had no idea what I was talking about submitting prayer requests.

I asked my friend for his full name, details for the prayer request and told her that I would go out on the Internet and submit prayer requests for him. When I finished submitting prayer requests to several different sites, I thought about the many times I have done this for others who have been in need of prayer and for myself.

It occurred to me that many people, like my friend, are not aware of how easy it is to submit prayers to various ministries over the Internet. One of the many blessings of the Internet and technology today, we can communicate and connect immediately with others around the world. There is an abundance of credible ministries that take prayer requests and have people who pray for incoming requests.

I am a big fan of Stormie Omartian and the wisdom she shares in her many books on prayer, and the power of praying. I believe there is great power in prayer. If you would like to read more about the power or prayer, click here.

Come back tomorrow when I will share the links for several ministries that take prayer requests.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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