Beginning the Divorce Process; What Should I do?

Divorce is a devastating life changing event. Divorce is more than an “event” it is a process. As in any process there are different stages. The first stage is really when one (or both) partner(s) begin to entertain the idea that they no longer want to be married to the other person. Often times the person who initiates the divorce, has mentally and emotionally left the marriage relationship before mentioning any problem or unhappiness to the other spouse. The initiating spouse can begin a negative downward spiral and be done with the marriage before there is ever an opportunity to seek help and save the marriage.

When the non-initiating spouse finds out their partner wants a divorce, their first stage is generally “shock.” How can this be happening to me, to us? If there is any chance to save your marriage and work through differences, by all means seek professional help and do whatever you can to save your marriage.

If your spouse has informed you that he/she no longer wants to be married, despite your prayers and efforts to save your marriage, I am truly sorry. I know how horrifying this can be. At a time when you are overwhelmed with emotion and disbelief, traveling unfamiliar ground, it can be difficult to know what to do.

Here are 7 Practical Tips for What to do When Beginning the Divorce Process:

  1. Pray. Submit your marriage relationship to God. Ask Him for emotional support, comfort, guidance, strength and wisdom. Ask God to bring the right people and resources into your life/path.
  2. Ask family, friends, your church for their prayers and support. Submit prayer requests on line to various ministries or prayer chains. Requests can be made respecting your privacy. Now is a time to be covered in prayer.
  3. Find someone you can trust, with whom you can share your feelings and process your thoughts and emotions. Talking through your feelings, putting your thoughts and emotions into words, can be very therapeutic and revealing for you. A trusted person can offer a different perspective and/or encouragement.
  4. Remember that God is in control, so do not panic. You will get through this time.
  5. Contact an attorney in your area to find out what you need to do. You can do some research on the internet to educate yourself on what you might expect. Preparing yourself with questions and concerns will help you to make the most of your time when you meet with an attorney. Attorney fees are not cheap, so take the time to prepare yourself prior to meeting with an attorney.
  6. Look for a divorce support group in your area. Divorce recovery groups provide; emotional support, help you to learn and grow from divorce, a safe place to express your feelings, the oppotunity to meet and connect with others in the same situation.  Attending a divorce support group can also provide connections and networking for finding various professionals or services you may need throughout your divorce process.
  7. Despite what you are feeling know that; You will survive. You will get through the process. You can do whatever you need to do. God is with you and He will see you through your divorce. Lean on HIm. Trust Him.

I know how scarey the beginning of the divorce process can be, especially if you are in a new location, and/or you do not know anyone else going through a divorce. It can seem like you are the only one in this situation. The sad truth is that you are not alone. The roller coaster of emotions, the uncontrollable tears are not unique. There are others currently going through the same devastation as you.

Each day will get better. It takes time. As time goes by, you will gain more strength. Before long the good days will out number the bad. The time will come when you will laugh, love and smile again. Let God be your strength, comfort and hope.

Romans 15:13; May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Copyright 2010. Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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You Are Loved

If thIs is your first “Valentine’s Day” as a single person in a while, getting through the holiday can be challenging. It is difficult not to be bombarded with messages and images of couples in love everywhere you go. I wonder when (if ever) did you have a perfectly romantic Valentines Day experience like the ones portrayed in the media? May be it is just me?

How many people do you think are disappointed each year when their love interest does not meet their expectations? How many people do you think give or do something out of obligation or expectation, rather than the motive of expressing their true love for another person on Valentines Day? Valentines Day marketing can lead people to believe if they are not in a relationship, they are in the minority, they might even be unlovable.

When people go through divorce it is not unusual for them to feel unlovable, especially around Valentine’s Day. I am here to tell you that “YOU are Lovable!” If your marriage has ended in divorce, that does not make you “unlovable.” I encourage you  to have a true perspective this Valentines Day. If Valentines Day is all about “love” is love limited to romantic relationships?

The true perspective is “You are lovable!” The truth is love gives life meaning and purpose. The world is looking for love, but what they are really looking for is God. God is love

The world would have us believe that we will find fulfillment in life through romantic relationships, money, material things, status, our appearance. Yet people who achieve these things are often left empty, lonely, unhappy, unfulfilled and disappointed.

It is actually when we walk in love, that we will find true fulfillment in life. When we walk in love we put love into action. We get the focus off of ourselves and reach out to others. It is not self seeking. Self seeking means you do something for others seeking something in return.

Jesus commanded us to love one another as He has loved us. (John 13:34). I am not suggesting that you send your ex-spouse or soon-to-be-ex-spouse a Valentine. I would suggest that you take this Valentines Day and reach out to someone you love. This could be your children, your parents, siblings, friends, or neighbor. Is there someone who has blessed you lately, who has helped you through your divorce that you might want to bless? Even though you may not be in the mood to celebrate Valentines Day this year, why not take the time to show some appreciation or love to other people this Valentines Day?

Blessing others can be therapeutic. When we bless others (show them love) we often feel blessed in the process. Focus on who you love and appreciate this Valentines Day, and make your mind up to bless at least one other person.

God loves you everyday, all day. There is nothing you can do to make Him stop loving you. Receive the love He has for you and go share it with somebody else. You are God’s Valentine today and every day.

Have a Happy Valentines Day!

Copyright 2010 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved

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How Will Your Life be Different this Year?

As we begin the new year, has anyone asked you about your new year’s resolution? I was speaking to one of my son’s friends the other day and he was telling me about his new year’s resolution. He told me his resolution was to live a more Christ-centered life. I told him I thought that was great and asked him how he planned to achieve his resolution? He replied, I am not sure. I have not really thought about it.

Then he asked me what my new years resolution was? I told him I do not make “new year’s resoultions,” instead I prefer to look at the year ahead and what I want to accomplish, set goals and create a plan for achieving them. This 14 year old boy’s  reply was, “oh”!

Yesterday on the radio I was listening to K-Love and rather than talking about new year’s resolutions the question they were asking people was, “How will your life be different this year?” I thought what a great question. To me, that question prompts ownership and accountability for how your life will be this year.

If you are someone going through a divorce or recently finalized your divorce, you already know your life will be “different.” Change which implies “different” can make you anxious or filled with fear, possibly dread because of the unknown that lies ahead.  Whether divorce was forced upon you, or you feel set free from an abusive relationship, the transitioning to single life from married life will make your life “different.” Change is inevitable.

The fact is your life will soon be different, but ”how” your life will be different is largely up to you. If you are familiar with Stephen Covey and the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” you know that the 2nd habit is “Begin with the End in Mind.” If we begin with the end in mind, let’s fast forward to Januray 2011. Next year when you look back at 2010 what will you say about 2010? Will you have accomplished anything? Will your life have improved in any way? Did you learn anything, and if so, what? Did it change your life in any way? for the better or the worse? Did you make good choices? Do you have any regrets? Are you at peace with where you are? Are you blaming someone else for how your year transpired or accepting responsibility for the outcome?

If this is a year of transition to single life for you, how do you picture your life a year from now? You may be facing a lot of unknowns this year, but you do not have to fear the year ahead. Remember you are not alone. God is with you. If you will seek Him and continue to lean on Him for strength, wisdom, courage, guidance, healing and comfort, He promises to be with you and see you through your trials and difficulties.

Spending time with God daily in His Word will help you get through the days and months ahead. If you are not sure where to begin, go to your local Christian bookstore, or visit one of the many on-line Christian bookstores or amazon.com and get a  daily devotional. There are also several good books that lead you through reading the Bible in a year. Whatever method is most appealing to you, this would be the perfect time to develop a habit of spending time with God (if this is not already a habit.)

Spending time with God can give you the strength, comfort, encouragement, wisdom and the hope you need for the year ahead. He is available 24/7. No appointment necessary. Your life may be different by developing a more initimate relationship with God.

As the realization of the new year sets in, stop and consider yourself looking back in January 2011. Will you be able to say I did the best that I could given my circumstances? I have no regrets. I accepted responsibility for what I could control and made good decisions for myself and my family. I sought God and His will for my life. I am at peace. I am trusting and believing God for the good things He has in store for me and my family. I am a victor and not a victim. It is my hope that this will be your reflection in 2011. 

If the year ahead seems daunting and overwhelming as you prepare, or finish, the divorce process, if you feel the need for support, creating a strategy to survive the process, working through your life changes, or developing a plan for the future, then please feel free to contact me for a complimentary coaching session. Having someone who has been through a divorce, understands the challenges, the pain and how to overcome them can help reduce your stress. Having a trained coach to encourage you, ask powerful questions, help you discover what you really want and hold you accountable for taking action, can establish the foundation you need for rebuilding your life.

May God Bless You and Your Family in 2010.

Copyright 2010. Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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Persevering Through the Valley of Divorce

We cannot always control our circumstances, nor can we control other people. The only thing we can control is how we respond to our circumstances and the choices we make. It can be really frustrating when our circumstances take a downward turn and no matter what we do, despite our best efforts and prayers, we can not change them.

If you are in the process of divorce, you may relate to the frustration of feeling like you have no control. Possibly your spouse gave up on your marriage and/or found someone else. You may feel as if your life has been turned upside down and there is nothing you can do about it. Being forced to go through a divorce you never wanted can be devastating, unfair, crushing.

The truth and reality becomes, we are getting divorced. We may not like it. We may not want it, but it is reality. Now what? How does one persevere through the valley? In my last post I told you I would share how I found encouragement to persevere through the valley.

Below I have listed the 4 main sources that encouraged and motivated me to persevere through the valley.

Faith. If you are a Christian believer, your faith is the best source of encouragement. Seeking God, His Word, wisdom, guidance and promises can give you the strength, hope and encouragement to persevere.

For me, I “thought” I was a Christian, before my marriage problems. It was not until I was faced with problems in my marriage that I became a true “believer” and developed a relationship with God.

Counseling/Therapy. Meeting with a good therapist or counselor that can help you sort through the emotions, feelings, grieving process and gain understanding. For me it was important to work with a Christian to help me process all of this through a faith perspective.

Support. Who is your support system? Family? Friends? Be sure to do the best you can to surround yourself with people who love you and care about you. At the same time, it is important to find support from people who share the same faith, beliefs and values, as you do.

Amazing how much advice you may receive that does not align with your values and beliefs. Going through my separation, becoming a “believer,” I learned a lot about people based on their advice and thoughts they shared with me. I really had to use discernment and process some of the advice with more mature Christians.

Be open to seeking out support. If you do not have any friends or family near you or who have gone through divorce, find people who are going through or have been through a divorce. People going through a divorce can feel like they are the only one. Not true.

For those of you who do not know my story, I had moved to Colorado away from all my family and friends. The friends I had made were all married. A year and a half after moving to Colorado, my marriage issues surfaced. Finding a divorce recovery group was one of the best things that helped me persevere through the journey. 

Children. When you have children living at home and you are about to become a single parent, may your children be a source of encouragement. For me, my children were very young. I knew I needed to get myself healthy, to overcome my divorce and try to become the best parent I could be. I came from a broken home. I never wanted my children to experience divorce. My children were a great source of motivation for me to recover.

I hope these sources give you ideas or inspiration to help you persevere through the valley. God never said that life would be easy. The Bible says we can expect trials and tribulations. It is in the “going through” that we become refined, learn and grow. It develops our “character.” If you feel like you already have enough “character” you are not alone. I remember thinking; “How much character do I need?” God knew.

If you have any thoughts on this topic, or would like to share a source of encouragement to persevere, feel free to leave a comment below. You never know when your comment may help someone else. Blessings to you as you persevere through the valley.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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Are You in the Valley of Divorce?

I wonder where you are in the divorce process? Are you in the state of shock? denial? devastation, barely able to function? Maybe you are going through the motions of the divorce process, feeling numb to life? Possibly you have reached a point of just wanting the divorce to be final, you are tired and worn out? It could be that your divorce is final and you are craving some peace, comfort, restoration and healing from the battle.

Today I want to encourage you to persevere through the valley. I know it hurts. I understand the pain and the brokenness. Going through the process can be overwhelming and emotionally draining. Some days you may have wondered is it worth it? Yes, it is.

I want you to understand that there is hope. Life will get better if you decide to persevere and not remain in the valley. It takes time. You need to take it one step at a time, allowing yourself to grieve, to learn from this experience, to grow and to heal. We live in a world of instant gratification. Pain is uncomfortable, so we often look for ways to eliminate it or move on too quickly.

As a word of caution, avoiding the pain, looking and/or finding someone else without going through the grieving, healing and restoring process is not persevering through the valley. Moving on without doing your work only leads to problems in future relationships.

Another word of caution on the flip side, avoid becoming comfortable with your pain and remaining in the valley. Have you ever known someone who got divorced and never recovered? This is the person who blames their former spouse for leaving them, possibly having an affair, for ruining their life and their future. This person ends up living with a victim mentality, embracing self pity. For them it is safer and more comfortable to live with the pain than to take responsibility for their life and risk moving forward.

Another scenario of remaining in the valley can be when someone has hopes to one day reconcile or remarry their former spouse. A person can remain stuck hanging onto their hope, without doing their work. The most successful reconciliations occur when the two people have done their work and become healthy individuals. People do remarry and I think it is wonderful when a couple can reconcile. Again, I want to stress the importance of going through the valley, doing your work without avoiding it.

If you are in the beginning or middle of your divorce process, I want to encourage you to pay attention to the mistakes people can make by choosing to avoid the pain, or on the other end of the spectrum, choosing to remain in the valley with their pain. Determine to persevere through the pain. Determine to do your work now so you can become a healthy person.

It is never too late. If you have been divorced for awhile, maybe it has been years, and you feel like you are stuck in the valley, it is never too late to rise up on the other side. After divorce, people can press forward through the motions of life only to wake up and discover they are merely existing. They realize they want more out of life. If this sounds like you, take comfort. It is never too late to begin again.

You might be saying to yourself, Shelley, I appreciate you encouraging me to persevere through the valley, but persevering is hard. In my next post I will share how I found encouragement to persevere through the valley.

If you would like to read more about this topic you can read my recent ezine; Divorce: Will You Rise Up from the Valley?  It is my prayer for you, that you will make your mind up to go through the valley and determine to rise up and come out on the other side. God still has a great purpose for you.

Jermiah 29:11 says; “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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Do You Know the Real “Reason” for Your Divorce?

If you are in the process of divorce or your divorce process is final, I wonder if you truly know the “reason” for your divorce? Did your spouse have an affair, or are they “in love” with someone else? Possibly the reason you were given was, “I just don’t love you any more,” or how about this one, “I am not happy. I want to be happy.”

Are any of these satisfactory reasons or explanations for a divorce? I wonder what did your spouse say to you, (if you were on the receiving end) when he/she asked for a divorce? Whatever the reason that may have been given, does it make it any easier to move on? The fact that a spouse gives you a “reason,” is it really necessary to have a “reason” before you can move on with your life?

Let me explain what prompted me to write about this subject. I was recently involved in a conversation where a person’s husband had asked her for a divorce and refused to give her any explanation. The divorce is final. This woman continues to be hung up on getting an explanation. She is so focused on this issue that it is preventing her from moving forward with her life.

I understand her desire to have some sort of an explanation. When a person is wanting to walk out on what is intended to be a life time commitment, I believe the spouse is entitled to an explanation. However, we do not always get what we want. Since we have no control over other people, we can request an explanation as many times as we want, but it does not mean we will ever get one. So what do you do?

If this happened to you, if your spouse did not give you an explanation or a “satisfactory” explanation, I encourage you to let it go. The fact is your ex-spouse decided they no longer wanted to be in a marriage relationship with you. (I do not mean this to sound harsh) Having a “valid” (after all what is “valid”?) reason will not change your circumstances. Your former spouse took action to move on with his/her life. Now you have a choice to make. Will you choose to accept your circumstances and move forward? Or will you choose to put your life on hold, hoping some day to get an explanation as to why your ex-spouse wanted to get a divorce?

If you would like to read more about this subject, you can read my recent e-zine article; “Is Not Knowing the “Reason” for Your Divorce Holding You Back?”  Feel free to share comments from your experience below. What are your thoughts. Do you think having an explanation helps you to have closure with your marriage/divorce relationship? Does having an explanation make it any easier? Your story may help someone else.

Blessings to you as you persevere to let go of the past and embrace your future.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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Four Weeks to Freedom Teleseminar Series

Today I want to tell you about an upcoming teleseminar that will be given by Carrie C. Stone. I was recently introduced to Carrie Stone during a teleseminar “How to Discover Your Destiny” that she did with Lynne Lee on her Christian Coaching Cafe.

I was so  impressed with Carrie, her wisdom, excellent communication and presentation skills, her authenticity, honesty, inspirational message and desire to help others discover and live out their God-given destiny.

During the teleseminar, Carrie addressed how life is constantly changing, ever expanding, ever confusing. If you are in the process of divorce or maybe you recently completed the divorce process, you are all to familiar with change, stretching beyond your comfort zone and may have even felt some confusion along the way.

Immediately after listening to Carrie, I knew she was someone who had a message and a mission that would greatly benefit my readers. I was excited to learn about her upcoming telesminar series Four Weeks to Freedom. 

Carrie’s teleseminar series Four Weeks to Freedom is about overcoming the paralysis of fear and beginning to live the life of your dreams. I don’t know about you, but my divorce left me full of fear. I feared for my children and how divorce was going to impact their lives, I feared for the future, for finances, taking care of home maintenace and repairs, returning to the work force. If you are anything like I was, you could use help overcoming your fears. The reality is we will never get rid of fear, so why not learn some steps for handling our fear?

I believe Carrie will be sharing valuable information for anyone on their path of recovery from divorce. See if this information would be helpful to you moving forward and rebuilding your life. Here are some of the things Carrie will provide in Four Weeks to Freedom: 

  • Equip you with battle strategies to take on the giants in your life.
  • Provide You With Practical, Proven, Easy To Apply Steps To Overcoming The Paralysis Of Fear.
  • Reveal Your God Given Destiny Which Is Hidden Within Your Identity.
  • Release Your Passion So That You Can Pursue Your Dreams.
  • Expose Your Purpose, So That You Can Become Who God Created You To Be.
  • Help You Define Your Priorities, Giving You Peace In All Circumstances.
  • If you click on Four Weeks to Freedom  you can watch a video of Carrie telling you about her teleseminar series and about her new book titled: “Fear the Four Letter Word” I encourage you to watch the brief video and decide whether this teleseminar would benefit you. You will need to act quickly, as the teleseminar series begins next week.

    Satan sends fear to torment us so we will be doubtful, miserable, paralyzed, preventing us from moving forward into doing what God wants us to do, and to keep us from receiving all that God has for us. 

    2 Timothy 1:7 states “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.”

    Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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    Divorce: Did You Know There is Value in Failing?

    Let me start off by saying, “Divorce does not make you a failure.”  Just because your marriage may have failed, you are not a failure!  Zig Ziglar says,”Failure is one of life’s greatest teachers as long as we are not crushed by it – as long as we learn from it.”

    Too often people that get divorced allow themselves to get crushed by it, rather than learning from it. The people who get crushed by it remain stuck and hopeless. The people who learn from it, will accept responsibility for their part in the marriage failure, discover how to make changes and better choices in the future, and move forward with their life. People who move forward understand that their past does not define their future.

    Zig Ziglar in his book “Better Than Good, Creating a Life You Can’t Wait to Live” lists the following as some of the best lessons to learn from failure:

    Failure teaches us to depend on God.

    Failure teaches us humility.

    Failure teaches us that we can’t always get what we want.

    Failure teaches us to make a correction in our course of action.

    Failure teaches us character.

    Failure teaches us perseverance.

    Failure teaches us that we can survive.

    If you are like most people you fear failure. Yet, there is so much to learn from failure. You may be saying to yourself it is one thing to fail a test, or to fail at trying to lose weight, but to fail in your marriage, that is huge.

    It is true, some failures are more significant than others. Some failures are easier to admit than others. I believe we often struggle more with the failure of our marriage because we feel we have not only failed ourselves, but our spouse, our family and God.

    Years ago David Brinkley interviewed Ann Landers, the advice columnist. He asked her what was the question she received most often? Her answer: “What is wrong with me?” It was apparent to her that people struggle with feelings of failure, negative thoughts or beliefs about themselves.

    To overcome adversity and failure it comes down to your perspective and how you choose to respond. How do you perceive your divorce and how will you choose to respond? Divorce is devastating, there is no doubt about it. Will you allow it to crush you or will you learn from it?  How many of the lessons mentioned above have you learned?

    Blessings to you as you ponder the lessons to be learned and the value you can take from your failed marriage.

    Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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    Post Divorce: How Do You See Your Future?

    When your life gets turned upside down by a major life changing event, such as a divorce, you find yourself in need of a new life plan. Post divorce is a new beginning. Possibly you had dreams and goals for achieving your dreams with your spouse. Or maybe you had dreams but no plan or goals for achieving them. Some people hold onto the idea that “everything will just work out.” Yet, if you just went through a divorce, you may be realizing that life doesn’t always “just work out” like in the fairy tales.

    As you begin to rebuild your life, I encourage you to take the time to think about your future. Think about the different areas in your life, for example;

    • family
    • relationships (dating?)
    • friends
    • faith
    • career
    • interests
    • personal
    • health/exercise
    • volunteering/serving
    • travel

    When you think of these different areas give yourself permission to explore possibilities, to dream, to create a vision of how you would like these areas to look in your future. You can use different time frames, say 6 months, 1 year, 3-5 years, 10 years depending on the area. Some areas may have short term and long term visions.

    Brainstorm

    I suggest getting a notebook, or journal, and brainstorm. Write down your thoughts for each of the different areas that apply to you, add new ones, if you desire. This is not something to do in one sitting. Pick it up when you have time, preferably when you can get still, some place quiet. Avoid any negative thoughts or voices that tell you “you’re crazy,” “that is impossible,” “you could never do that,” “you are not smart enough,” “you will never be able to afford that..” Give yourself the freedom to write whatever comes to mind.

    What Are Your Interests?

    Is there an interest or hobby you had to give up when you got married or started your family? Possibly you have an interest in learning or doing some activity, sport or hobby but never had the time, money or opportunity to pursue that interest, write it down. There are no right or wrong answers here. This can be for your eyes only, unless you want to share it with someone.

    Will You Have a Plan?

    How will you know where you are going, or if you are headed in the right direction, if you have no idea what you want or desire in your future? Will you be happy or content if you just let life happen and take it as it comes? What if you miss out on some great opportunities, fulfilling a dream, or the chance to live out your life purpose, how will you feel?

    Will Your Life be Better or Worse?

    Some people get caught up in anger, self pity, holding onto the past, believing they do not deserve a good future, or feel rejected and unworthy of another relationship or marriage. Some people see their future as gloom and doom and fail to move forward. I find it sad when I hear about people who get divorced and their life never gets any better. Divorce becomes their defining moment in life. It doesn’t have to be that way.

    Would You Like to Enjoy Your Future?

    What if your life could be better than it ever was before? What if you discovered who you are, your life purpose and lived a fulfilling life? What if you could enjoy your future? Would you be willing to put forth some effort to make it happen? Think about the options. How do you see your future?

    Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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    Divorce Resource for Single Parents

    If you are a parent going through divorce or recently divorced, how did you explain the change in your family dynamics to your children? Do they understand what is happening to their family? Depending on the age of your children, the concept of divorce can be difficult to grasp.

    Children may wonder if it is their fault their parents are divorcing? Why is their family changing? Does this change who I am? Younger children in particular who identify themselves mostly with their parents, family, friends and school may struggle with how divorce affects their identity.

    When Lori Hilliard found herself going through a divorce she searched for resources to help her explain to her 5 year old son, Joshua, what was happening to their family and what it meant to him and his siblings. Lori states that she “found several wonderful books published on the subject of divorce, but they mostly featured make believe characters like talking teddy bears.”

    Lori says she wanted a real child’s face for Joshua to see and identify with that would help him understand that other real children had been through a divorce and that it was not just a made up “character” story. Failure to find such a book led Lori to write the book, Sending Love…My “Different-Functional” Family . In her book, Lori uses actual photo’s of her children, herself and her ex-husband, to beautifully  illustrate her book and make it real. Her goal in writing Sending Love…My “Different-Functional” Family   is to help children understand that divorce is not their fault. Lori wants them to know just how much they are loved, despite the change in their family dynamics.

    This book is written as a story by her 5 year old son, Joshua, explaining who he is and where he lives, his two homes, his family members and pets. At the end of the book there are pages for your child/children to tell their story. You will find a place for your children to put photos of themselves, mom, dad, their family, and things they like to do. At the very end of the book there is a place for each parent to write what they think about or love about the child or children, along with a signature line for both mom and dad to sign.

    If you have children between the ages of 2 and 10, I would highly recommend you get Lori’s book. After I read Lori’s book written from a child’s perspective, using real life pictures, it made me wish she had written it 10 years ago. My children were 3 and 5 when their father chose the path of divorce. I think of how helpful this would have been to explain to our children what was happening to their family dynamics and what it meant to them.

    THANK YOU, Lori, for taking the initiative to create such a valuable resource for children of divorce. Anyone who has been through, or is going through, a divorce knows what a devastating time it is in the life of a family. This book is an easy and incredible tool to use. It will help you reassure your children of just how much they are loved. Well done, Lori Hilliard!

    If you would like to read an article about, Lori Hilliard, click here.

    Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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