Mothers Day, Fathers Day, and the Single Parent
by Shelley · Filed Under: A Season of Changes · Single Parenting
Mothers Day is a few days away. If this is your first year as a single parent, you may experience a range of emotions. You may feel a great deal of sadness for your children, that they no longer have an intact family. It could be that divorce removed you from an abusive situation. No matter what the reason for divorce, Mothers Day and Fathers Day can become awkward as a single parent, especially when children are younger and they need the help of the other parent. As a single parent with young children who do not understand the concept of Mothers Day and Fathers Day, it can feel like just another day.
Typically the father plans or carries out the Mothers Day celebration with children (especially when children are young) and mothers handle Fathers Day celebrations. As children get older they can help plan and contribute to celebrating their mothers and fathers. But what happens when parents divorce? Who helps the children celebrate their mother and father? When parents are in the process of divorce the relationship can be particularly stressful. The last thing a parent may feel like doing is planning or helping their child or children celebrate the other parent. If this describes your situation, I would suggest you take a moment to change your perspective.
Children have one biological (or adoptive) mother and father. It does not matter what you think or feel about each other right now (excluding emotional or physical abuse), he or she is the parent. As the adult, as the parent, it is your responsibility to help the child or children celebrate and/or show their appreciation for the other parent. Mothers Day and Fathers Day, birthdays and other holidays are times for you to put your feelings aside and help your children. You do it for the children.
Let’s face it, if parenting is challenging and many couples find parenting a challenge with two adults, what about single parenting? If there is ever a time when parents could use encouragement, to feel celebrated and appreciated, it is when they parent alone. Right or wrong, whether you like the other parent or not, whether you agree or disagree with the choices they make or have made in the past, children deserve the right to love, appreciate and celebrate their parents.
This Mothers Day and Fathers Day, I encourage you to take the high road. Forget about yourself, think of your children and help them celebrate the other parent. Granted the celebration will look different this year than in year’s past. If you are a single mother with young children you may want to read my blog post from last year “Planning Your Own Mothers Day”. Single fathers not to worry, I will write a similar post for planning your own Fathers Day, when we get closer to Fathers Day.
In the meantime, if you have any thoughts or comments that you would like to share, feel free to leave them below. May God give you strength, parenting wisdom, energy, an abundance of love, patience, grace and understanding as He empowers you to be the best parent you can be to your children.
God Bless!
Copy Right 2010 Shelley Grieser. All Rights Reserved

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