Recently I have discovered a site called CaringBridge. CaringBridge is a free, nonprofit web service that connects family and friends to share information, love and support during a serious health event, care and recovery. Possibly you have heard of this site before?

In the past week I know two people who have had profiles created on this site. If you know someone battling cancer or another serious health issue, you may want to suggest a family member or friend set up a profile for them to keep others informed. CaringBridge has a place for the person, family member, or friend to journal updates or thoughts on their event. There is also a “guest book” for people to write messages to the person and family of the person profiled.

As you can imagine when a tragic accident happens, which was the case for one of the families in our community while traveling home from vacation, people are concerned. The other friend on this site was recently diagnosed with a form of brain cancer, and suddenly taken by surprise. When such tragedies occur, the family is preoccupied with handling the situation and caring for those affected. Naturally people want to help those in need and pray for the specific needs.

Utilizing the CaringBridge site allows people to become informed, follow the progress, hear from the family or individual, and/or view pictures if posted. The site allows the family and individual to receive uplifting messages of prayer, care, concern and support.

As I receive updates and read the postings in the “guest book” section of each of these sites, I am overwhelmed  by the outpouring of messages, prayers, and well wishes for each of these families. It makes me so grateful for technology, the Internet and the ability to connect people from all over the world in an instant. What a blessing to these families to hear from people all over the country, to connect and share their struggles, their needs, their progress and successes with people who may not otherwise even know what happened. To receive continual messages of support, concern and encouragement from family and friends has been amazing. I suspect beyond their wildest expectations.

Being introduced to this incredible service called CaringBridge, makes me think of all the other life events where people could desperately use words of encouragement, support, and prayers. Life events such as death and divorce.

As I continue to walk alongside my good friend going through the divorce process right now, I think of how much she could benefit from the support, encouragement and prayers from her family and friends. If you have been through the divorce process, you know how many hurdles there are to clear before it is final. Almost daily, some days hourly, you could desperately use words of encouragement, wisdom, care and support.

I often hear people comment when they know someone going through divorce, how bad they feel for the individual(s) and wonder what they might do to help. I think of what strength, comfort and courage people could gain from receiving messages from family and friends, on a site like CaringBridge. So here’s an idea, if you are a web developer who would love to help hurting people, might you consider starting a web site like CaringBridge for people going through divorce? Just thought I would throw this out there.

As someone who has gone through divorce, living away from family and close friends (at the time), what a blessing that would have been to receive messages, words of encouragement, love and support, available to read 24/7.

Reading the guest book messages on CaringBridge for my friends, I have noticed how the messages posted are not only inspirational and encouraging to the individual (profiled) but to the community of people reading and posting as well. Witnessing people coming together, sharing their faith, their love and concern for others can be contagious and heart warming.

If you know someone currently going through a divorce, a health issue, or difficult time, why not take a minute and send them an email, a message on Facebook, or call them. Let them know you are thinking of them, praying for them, or offer some words of encouragement. Getting your mind off of yourself and being a blessing to someone else will make you feel better, too.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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I hope you like the new look of A Hope Filled Future. I have been in the process of switching my blog platform to Blogi360. To some of you I know that means nothing and that is okay. I look forward to the greater flexibility, options and opportunities provided by Blogi360.

The look of A Hope Filled Future will continue to evolve as I learn more about the various options and capabilities of Blogi360. I believe Blogi360 will allow me to better serve my community.

I want to take this opportunity to invite you to submit any questions, ideas or topics that you would like me to address here on my blog. Is there a particular area where you are struggling with moving forward after your divorce? Do you have a question about ideas on how to handle some area of transitioning to single life? Single parenting? Do you wonder if other people have the same issue(s) you do? I invite you to send me an email at: shelley@ahopefilledfuture.com, or leave a comment below. I am happy to answer your questions or address your concerns.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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Where are you in the divorce process? recently separated? in the middle of the process or is your divorce final? Where you are in the process may determine your perspective. If you are just beginning down the path of divorce or if you are in the throws of the process, your perspective may be that you just want to survive. If your divorce was recently finalized you may just be thankful that the painful process is over and that you survived.

The picture in the upper corner is a Juniper on it’s side knocked over by rough weather on the rim of the Colorado National Monument. In Colorado it always amazes me the trees that you see growing out of the rocks in the canyons and high country. How do they survive ? Despite their circumstances and adverse conditions they find a way to grow from a mere seedling into a thriving tree. I am sure there are far more that do not survive.

One thing is for sure, no matter where you are in the divorce process, you will survive. How you survive is largely up to you. Whether you move forward or remain stuck in the past is completely up to you. Don’t waste the opportunity to learn and grow from this experience.

If you simply muddle through it, avoiding the pain and the lessons to be learned, you will merely survive. There is much to be learned from the trials in life. Our life experiences and how we handle them, help define who we are and who we become. Pain is no exception. In fact we learn far more from our trials in life than we ever do from our successes. It is through perseverance and endurance that we gain strength, courage, wisdom, faith and confidence.

If you would like to read more about this topic, I recently wrote an article called; Surviving Divorce -What Kind of a Survivor Will You Be? My hope is that you will choose to be more than a survivor. I hope that you will take the opportunity to learn as much as you can about your self, relationships, marriage, who you are, what you are capable of doing and deepen your relationship with the One who will see you through it. Are you willing to do the work? to go deeper and come up higher?

As always, you are welcome to share your comments or experiences below.

Copyright 2008  Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved

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When you are going through a divorce you may feel stressed, sad, angry, afraid, and exhausted. The last thing you may feel like doing is laughing. Yet laughter may be just the thing you need to feel better. Laughter is good for your health. Research indicates we need to laugh at least twelve times a day just to stay healthy.

Think about one of the last times you had a really good laugh. Do you remember how you felt  afterward? Were your spirits lifted? Did life seem a bit happier or lighter, at least for a while?  A good laugh has a way of fighting off negative thoughts and feelings. Laughter can be powerful in changing your mood, your attitude, releasing negative energy and creating more positive energy.

Even though you may not feel like it, seek laughter every day. There are many ways you can do this. First think about what makes you laugh? What do you find funny? Who do you find funny? Is there a particular movie, comedian, video or book that you find funny? Maybe there is something from your childhood or past that makes you laugh when you see a picture or hear the story again.

Think about what you find humorous and then make a point to watch it, read it, hear it or view it. Maybe that involves buying an old movie, a book, or calling a person that you shared a funny experience with and talking about the event that was so funny. Possibly it is digging out an old video or picture and watching/seeing it again.

Watch America’s Funniest Home Video’s on TV or on the Internet. Go to You-tube and watch funny videos. Listen to a comedian on the radio or on web radio. Now, might be a great time to go to Amazon.com and invest in a DVD of your favorite comedian. Then you can watch it whenever you are having a rough day and need a little pick me up.

Be creative. Laughter can be inexpensive, even free. It is something you can control at a time when your life may seem out of control. Find a way to get some laughter in your life today. Laugh loud. Laugh hard. Laugh often. You deserve it. Guaranteed to make you feel better, too.

Copyright 2008 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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Today marks the 6th anniversary of my divorce being final. Although I can honestly say I would not want to be married to my ex-husband, this anniversary still brings a sense of sadness each year. Sad that my childhood dream of getting married, having a family and growing old with my husband (father of my children) will not happen. Sad that my children have not experienced an intact family role model that they can remember (because they were so young.) Sad that my children have to be raised in two different homes and the extra challenges it ultimately places on them.

When I reflect back over the past 6 years (even longer if we go back to when the marriage problems surfaced) I can also see how far I have come, how much I have grown as a person and how much I have learned along the way. I have had the opportunity and freedom to discover "who " I am, who I was created to be, uncover my passion and pursue my purpose in life.

If I was still married to my ex-husband, I would have missed out on so many things. I would not be the person I am today. I would have missed out on some great friendships, opportunities to experience new and different things that are reflective of "who" I truly am. My children would not know the real me.

Most importantly, it was marriage problems that brought me into a true "relationship" with God. It has been my relationship with God that has changed me into a different person, a better person. My desire to know Him and learn about Him, took me to Bible Study Fellowship and then Beth Moore Bible Studies. God lead me to Divorce Recovery, therapy, a Single Mom's Support Group, raised up friends and a support system through these avenues and my church.

I thought my support system was back in Kansas when I headed down the path of divorce, but God raised up a stronger, healthier, caring support system right here in Colorado. I remember some of the more stressful times of my divorce process, experiencing a peace that I could not explain. It has been God's faithfulness, mercy, comfort, healing and provision that have given me the courage, strength and ability to endure and persevere through the path of divorce. And, His faithfulness continues through the challenges of being a single mom, maintaining a home, loneliness, finances, co-parenting and becoming an entrepreneur.

To quote my Divorce Recovery Leader again, "I would not wish divorce on my worst enemy and yet I would not trade what I learned going through it for anything." Today, I briefly mourn the death of a childhood dream and then rejoice and praise God for His goodness, grace and faithfulness to me.

I conclude with two of the scriptures that helped me through this unpleasant life experience, called divorce.

Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (NIV)

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (NIV)

Copyright 2008  Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved

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My daughter gets out of school an hour before my son. Their dad lives about 15 minutes from us. On the nights he has the kids, he picks up my daughter and then they usually stop by our home, before going to get my son. If you are a single parent you know that there are always things that need to go back and forth between houses. My daughter has to wear head gear at night, then there is her soccer attire and bag, books, projects, papers, clothes, etc. What a responsibility for our kids to try and keep track of everything between two houses. Personally, I have a hard enough time with one house. I must admit they do a fairly good job. We have done our share of making extra trips over to the other one's home for forgotten items, over the years.

Today her dad needed to go run an errand and she did not want to go so she stayed with me for 30-40 minutes. Lately she has been wanting me to talk to her dad about going out to eat all of the time. She would prefer to stay home and eat. She says it gets old. She has tried saying something to her dad but there is usually a reason for them to go out to dinner. During her brief time here, she was asking me again, if I would talk to him.

I have explained to her that it is her place to talk to him. Apparently she does not feel "heard" and thinks her dad will listen to me (don't know why?) I tell her that it is not my place. I have no control over what their dad does with them when they are with him. I can not tell him what, where and when to feed them.

Okay, so it is a little more complicated. Their dad had a son with a "friend." So they tend to go to dinner with her, their 1/2 brother and her other children. It is really not my place or business to get involved. One of those awkward situations as a single parent. I will talk to my daughter further the next time it comes up. I will do what I can to help her think of ideas of how to better communicate her feelings to her dad.

copyright 2008  Shelley Grieser  All rights reserved.

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