Forgiveness, this may not be a subject you want to talk about during or after a divorce. You may be saying to yourself, “Divorce is challenging enough. I am emotionally drained. Now I am suppose to forgive him/her? You must be kidding!”

Divorce is painful. One spouse may feel the other spouse is to blame because they were unfaithful, abusive, neglected the marriage, suffered from an addiction and refused to get help, or do the work for recovery. More than likely there is some degree of hurt and pain experienced by both spouses.

At some point when the dust settles, the divorce is final, and you are left to create a new life. What does that look like for you? How will you move forward? What will you do with the betrayal and injustice you feel?

Will you seek revenge? Will you hold onto the anger and bitterness you feel? Will you ignore the feelings, hoping that they will get better in time? You may continue to have contact with your former spouse (if children are involved) that feeds your hurt and pain? Does this just further confirm your right to be angry?

If your vision for your future includes being healthy both physically and emotionally, you will need to deal with your feelings of hurt, pain, anger, bitterness, and resentment. You will have a choice to make. Will you choose to forgive or not to forgive your former spouse? Not making a choice is still a choice.

For more information on forgiveness, I have written a couple of Ezine articles. You can read them by clicking on the titles.

Forgiveness Part 1; Forgiveness is a Choice

Forgiveness Part 2; How Can I Possibly Forgive My Former Spouse?

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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