I am excited to have had the privilege to be a guest on Tommy Lanham’s Blog Talk Radio Show  recently. Tommy Lanham is America’s Expert Enthusiator adding life to your life one life at a time. Answering your questions about life and faith to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

On the show we talked about how Divorce Coaching can help you through the divorce process and through recovery. I shared some of the common pitfalls of divorce and how you can avoid them. I also gave some tips on how you can reduce your stress level during the divorce process and save your emotional energy. If you or someone you know is going through a divorce, you can listen to the replay of the show by clicking on the highlighted link.

As you may have noticed, I have not been very active on my blog lately for a couple of reasons. One of my best friends was a victim of a tragic event earlier this summer. I have been spending time trying to support and help her through this difficult time. It has been amazing to watch God’s faithfulness and work through this tragic event.

The other reason for my absence, I have been working on developing a workshop to help men and women prepare and get through the divorce process. The workshop is called, “The Divorce Support Workshop: Navigating the Process with Fortitude and Grace.”  To find out more information and details about the workshop, click on the title of the workshop.

If you are not familiar with Blog Talk Radio, click on the highlighted link and you can listen to the show over the internet. It is a 60 minute show, Tommy Lanham’s Blog Talk Radio Show . I hope you will come listen. Tommy is full of energy, inspiring and motivating.

Copyright 2010 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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If you are a parent with children still living at home, about to separate or divorce, you will need to inform significant people in your children’s lives. Once you have told the children about your plans to separate/divorce, your children will begin trying to process this information. This news will create stress and confusion as they try to contemplate what this means to them personally, their family and their future.

As your children try to sort through and understand what this means to them, they are likely to speak with someone outside the family unit. Think about the significant adults in your children’s lives. What adults do they see on a regular basis? Who might they be comfortable opening up to about their feelings or situation? Who spends time with your child that may need to be aware of the change in family status? Who might recognize a change in behavior, attitude, performance, or personality that can let you know what they observe?

It is important to tell people who interact with your children on a regular basis, that you and your spouse are separating or getting divorced. If other adults are aware of your family situation, they may be able to comfort, offer support, advice, or encouragement to your child.

Be sure to let people know that you would appreciate them notifying you of any changes in behavior, demeanor, or apparent struggles your child may be experiencing. By letting others know of your concern, they will be more inclined to pay closer attention to your child and share their observations with you. Have you ever seen the shows on television where a person is in need of help and people walk on by because they do not want to get involved? People today may be reluctant to say anything and avoid getting involved.

Here is a perfect example. Today I heard of an elementary school music teacher who suspects a child in her class is suffering from depression. She is aware that the parents are going through a divorce, yet expressed her reluctance to say anything to the parents. When a good friend of mine heard the teacher make this comment, she encouraged her to speak with the parents. My friend shared with her that when she has experienced parents (of her children’s friends) going through a divorce, the parents have asked her to let them know if and when she observes any changes in their child’s behavior, or emotions that could be related to their divorce.

Going through a divorce can be overwhelming. There may be periods of time when you feel like you are operating on auto-pilot, merely surviving. It is good to have other people looking out for your children who may notice signs that your children are struggling or could use help coping with their circumstances. If you would like to read more information on this subject, you can read my recent Ezine article: “Beginning Divorce: Who Parents Need to Tell About Their Divorce.”

Today there is much more information and support available to help children through divorce than in years past. Helping your children process divorcess will not only benefit them now, but also in their future relationships. Realize that children may not express their struggles in front of their parents, because they do not want to add to your stress and pain.

Copyright 2010. Shelley Grieser. All Rights Reserved.

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If you are a parent going through a separation or divorce, please take the time to educate and prepare yourself on how to tell your children. Divorce will affect your children. How you tell them about your divorce, what you tell them, your relationship with the other parent, how you handle the divorce process and co-parenting, can make a huge difference. 

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You have probably heard the old saying; “Think before you speak!” Have you ever said something out loud or repeated something you heard only to regret it later? In today’s world, with the ever increasing popularity of the Internet and social media sites that saying can be translated into “Think before you post or write!”

How many of you have a profile on Facebook, My Space, Twitter, or some other social media site? Do you belong to a specialized group or forum, author a blog, where you can post, write or share personal information with other people via the World Wide Web on the Internet? If you participate on social media sites do you think about what you write or post before you do it?

You may think because you “know” all of the people who are your friends on Facebook, information on your profile, or what you write on your “friends” walls, is private between friends. Do not be deceived. Depending on your profile settings, the information on your profile, including comments, etc. may be viewed by people who are “not your friends.” 

If you are in the process of a divorce or divorced, you should be careful what you publish on your social media sites, as well as what you write or comment on other people’s profiles. Some information could offend others, be used against you, reflect poor character/decisions, or provide written evidence in your divorce case.

If you are upset with your STBX, social media sites are not the place to air your dirty laundry. If you have something to say that is unfavorable, derrogatory, mean or otherwise inappropriate for the “world” including your STBX to see, do not publish it on social media sites. Send a private message or an email. You may even want to stop and ask yourself, do you really need to communicate “that message?”

If what you want to communicate could be misunderstood or damaging to your character or someone else’s, then think before you post or write it on a social media site. Anyone can join most social media sites for free. Even though you may think your STBX is not on the social media scene, he/she may join or have friends that will share what they see/learn.

Words of Advice:

• Keep it clean.
• Keep it private.
• Give yourself time to calm down - if this is an emotional reaction.
• Think before you post or write on the internet.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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