If I asked you “What are your core values?” chances are you would struggle to answer the question. You see, most people are not consciously aware of their personal core values. When we go through life changes, such as divorce, our values or the priorities of certain values can change. Let’s take a look at what I mean by core values.

Core values are not descriptions of the work we do or the strategies we employ to accomplish our mission, or purpose. Core values underlie our work, how we interact with others, and which strategies we employ to fulfill our mission, or purpose. Our core values are the basic elements of how we go about our work and life. They are the practices we use (or should be using) everyday in everything we do.

In reality when we are not fully aware of our values, we might as well be saying we are not fully aware of what is important to us. Values are the foundation of our behavior. They define what is most important to us, they are the filter we use in making decisions, they are the motivating force behind our work, our passions, our life.

When you begin to rebuild your life after divorce, begin rebuilding with your foundation. Identifying your core values and understanding the priority you place on them, are key steps in establishing your foundation. When your values are clear you can make sure they are present, or a priority, in your life. Determining your core values will help you discover who you are. In the past, your values and their priority were most likely influenced and possibly determined, by and with, your spouse.

As you take the time to explore what you value, be prepared to ask yourself if this is something you truly value or was this something your former spouse valued? You may find certain values are not important to you while others are more important to you personally.

Once you have clarity on your values, think about how and where you are living out your values in your everyday life. Do you need to make some changes to incorporate your core values or get rid of some past values? As you live your life in alignment with your values, you will experience more fulfillment.

If you need help discovering your values and rebuilding your life, I can help you with the process. Often times we need someone to come alongside of us, to ask the right questions, to guide, motivate and encourage us to move forward and hold us accountable. If you wonder whether or not life coaching is for you, feel free to contact me for a complimentary coaching session.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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I often hear people use the terms Coaching and Counseling interchangeably. Coaching and Counseling are similar in that they typically involve one on one relationships focused on personal growth. The difference is Counseling involves diagnosing a client’s emotional or psychological state and helping a client become whole. Counseling looks at the whole person, past influences, present experiences and future aspirations to create awareness and help the client evolve personally.

Coaching on the other hand pushes a client to set goals and take action to solve the problem on their own. Coaching improves the quality of life by focusing on creating a better future. Coaching is not focused on fixing the past.

Both Coaching and Counseling are valid, useful and different methods for achieving personal growth. I would venture to say that most people going through a divorce could benefit from Counseling. Divorce can be emotionally devastating.  A good counselor can help a person going through divorce understand how they contributed to the break down in their marriage, deal with past issues from childhood, understand their communication and/or personality styles and how these factors affected their marriage relationship. A Counselor can help a person work through issues, address areas where the person may need to change, possibly understand their partner better, while providing support and encouragement.

Coaching sessions have an agenda, there are clear expectations and concrete goals. Coaches give very little advice and make few suggestions. Coaching is focused on motivating the client to make a change. Change is more of a function of being motivated than receiving information. A coach asks questions, listens to the client and encourages people to come up with their own solutions. A coach is a change expert who holds a client accountable, as they support and encourage a client to make desired changes. When we are held accountable, we are more likely to make changes.

Divorce is a life changing event. Processing and dealing with all of the changes can be overwhelming. A coach can help by asking questions, prompt you to go deeper, figure out what you truly want and desire. Once you determine what you want or desire, a coach can help you develop the appropriate action steps to achieve your goals.

Divorce is a time for discovery. Rediscovering “who” you are, “who” you were created to be, your life purpose, defining your values, aligning your life with what you value and living out your life purpose. Your marriage may have ended, but your life is not over. God can still use you and has a plan B for your life.

You are not destined to a life of misery because your marriage ended. Now is the perfect time to discover your destiny in life and start living it. Living out your destiny will bring fulfillment, blessings and joy.

I hope this post clarifies the difference between Coaching and Counseling. If you have any further questions about the two, please send me an email or leave a comment in the section below and I will be happy to respond.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

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