Yesterday I shared how a friend of mine called me on Father’s Day to ask me to pray for her brother-in-law, Bob. Bob suffered a severe heart attack while walking on the beach Sunday morning and was not expected to live through Sunday night. Given the urgency of Bob’s condition I suggested to my friend that she submit prayer requests on the Internet, to cover Bob in prayer.

As I write this on Tuesday evening, Bob, is miraculously still alive. Yesterday the doctors had planned to take Bob into surgery today (providing he was stable enough) and give him an artificial heart. This would be temporary until he could receive a donor heart. Today, although still in critical condition, Bob’s prognosis has again miraculously improved. He was able to be taken off life support, and remains on oxygen, as he waits for a heart donor.

It’s no coincidence that I am currently reading Don Piper’s book, “A True Story of Death and Life, 90 Minutes in Heaven.”  This is a New York Times Best Seller that was released in 2004. Don Piper is an ordained minister whose car was crushed by a semi truck on his way home from a conference, on January 18, 1989. Medical personnel said he died instantly. His body laid lifeless in the wreckage of his car as they waited for the equipment to extract his body from the car.

Ninety minutes after the accident, while a minister was praying over his body, Don Piper miraculously returned to life on this earth. In this book, Don Piper shares his glimpses of heaven, the accident and his journey of recovery.

He states at the end of his book, “I also believe that part of the reason I am still alive, as I’ve already pointed out, is that people prayed. Dick Onerecker prayed me back to life–to live without brain damage. David Gentiles and others prayed so that God wouldn’t take me back to heaven just yet.”

If you read Don’s story it is a testimony to the power of prayer. I wonder if you have experienced or witnessed the power of prayer in your life, or someone else’s life? Prayer can be so powerful.

The Bible says; ^{Phillipians 4:6}Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  (New International Version)

Although the circumstances I have mentioned were life threatening situations, the Bible tells us to bring everything to God in prayer. If you are on the path of recovery from divorce, you may be in need of prayer for yourself, your circumstances, your children, your former spouse, or all of the above.

If and when you find yourself or others in need of prayer, I have listed below several credible websites where you can submit prayer requests.

Joyce Meyer Ministries look under Everyday Answers section. In the past I received a personal email response to a prayer request. One time Joyce Meyer Ministries sent me a CD of one of Joyce’s teachings that was relevant to my prayer request.

Lakewood Church in Houston with Joel Osteen.

Living Proof Ministries with Beth Moore, Bible Teacher/Speaker. Look under the Interact tab.

KLOVE - National Christian Radio Station Go to the Ministry Tab and then click on Prayer.

Crosswalk - Christian Living Resources

CBN - Christian Broadcasting Network

Prayer For All People This site has an extensive list of sites where you can submit prayer requests. I just found this site while doing research to write this post. It appears to have credible sites listed.

I hope you will find these resources for prayer, helpful in your time of need. If you have a favorite ministry, church or Bible teacher, check out their website and see if they offer a place to submit prayer requests. Feel free to share any sites you have used to submit prayer requests, in the comment section below. If you have stories about how you have experienced or witnessed the power of prayer, feel free to share and encourage others with your story.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

On Sunday I received a call from a good friend of mine asking me to pray for her brother-in-law, Bob. Her sister and brother-in-law had been taking a walk on the beach that morning in Jacksonville, FL when Bob suffered a massive heart attack. Bob is 62 years young and the heart attack severely damaged his heart. The doctors tried putting a shunt in his heart but it failed.

When my friend called me, Bob was laying in the hospital on life support not expected to live through the night. Bob has a daughter that lives in San Francisco. The doctors informed his wife that she should contact any family to let them know the seriousness of his condition.

As my friend proceeded to tell me about Bob, his life, his personality, the challenges he has experienced, Bob became more “real” to me. He was more than a name to lift up in prayer.

It became clear to me that Bob was in need of a miracle and needed to be covered in prayer. I suggested to my friend that she submit prayers on the Internet to cover him in as much prayer as possible. My friend is a physical therapist, does not need the Internet for her job, so not very Internet savvy. She had no idea what I was talking about submitting prayer requests.

I asked my friend for his full name, details for the prayer request and told her that I would go out on the Internet and submit prayer requests for him. When I finished submitting prayer requests to several different sites, I thought about the many times I have done this for others who have been in need of prayer and for myself.

It occurred to me that many people, like my friend, are not aware of how easy it is to submit prayers to various ministries over the Internet. One of the many blessings of the Internet and technology today, we can communicate and connect immediately with others around the world. There is an abundance of credible ministries that take prayer requests and have people who pray for incoming requests.

I am a big fan of Stormie Omartian and the wisdom she shares in her many books on prayer, and the power of praying. I believe there is great power in prayer. If you would like to read more about the power or prayer, click here.

Come back tomorrow when I will share the links for several ministries that take prayer requests.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

If you are a single mom with children at home, what are you doing to help your children celebrate Father’s Day? If you are not on good terms with your ex husband, or maybe you just don’t like him right now, you need to put your feelings aside. Your ex-husband is still the father of your children. He deserves to be remembered on Father’s Day.

If your former-in-laws live near you and you can ask them to help your children honor their father on Father’s Day, then great. For many of us that is not an option.

If your ex-husband did not help the children do anything for you on Mother’s Day, you might be thinking well I am not going to do anything for him on Father’s Day. I know this can be difficult, but I would encourage you take the high road. Think of the children and what you are teaching them.

If you have small children they will certainly need your help and direction. Why not give them the materials they need to make something for their father? Is there a craft they like to do? Can they draw a picture of what they like to do with their dad? Do you have a cute photograph of the child(ren) that you could frame to give him?

Another idea that also works with older children, is give them a dollar amount and take them to the mall or a store and let them pick something out. Having the child make a Father’s Day card to go along with the gift can also be more personal and meaningful. Let the child wrap the gift, too.

For older children you may need to remind them to do something for Father’s Day. If they need your help with gift ideas, be willing to give them suggestions. If money is tight, suggest the older child create a coupon telling their dad that they will do some specific chore for him, or project. Maybe the child(ren) plan and prepare dinner, and/or plan a day or evening of doing something that their dad likes to do for fun. When kids get older and spend less time with their parents, spending quality time with the parent could be a real gift itself.

If doing something for Father’s Day is difficult for you, I encourage you to push past your feelings and help your children celebrate their father on Father’s Day. He is their father. As much as you may not feel like celebrating him, he deserves to be remembered. I hope you will do the right thing and go help your children.

This post is written from the perspective of generally speaking. I understand that there are situations where a father may have been abusive, or a father child relationship may not be healthy.

However, I am familiar with cases where divorced parents do not have an amicable relationship. In these situations I have known parents who do not want to do anything for the other parent, and yet there may not be anyone else to help the children. This post is meant to encourage adults to think of their children, putting their personal feelings aside.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

If you are recently divorced or going through a divorce, be sure to take time to enjoy your children this summer. Going through a divorce can be emotionally and physically draining, especially when there are children at home. No doubt, you have had less energy to offer your children.

Summertime has so much to offer in the way of festivals, outdoor concerts, sports, and activities. This can be a great time to get the kids involved with planning and researching (depending on ages) things to do.

Possibly you saw the movie last year called, “Bucket List” with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The characters they play meet while sharing a room in the hospital. They are both battling serious illnesses. The two men create a list of things they want to do before they die, or “kick the bucket”. The movie covers their quest to accomplish the items on their bucket list.

A bucket list is really like a list of goals you would like to accomplish. Why not create a Summer Bucket List of things you would like to do this summer with your kids?

In my recent Ezine article, Divorce Advice: Create a Summer Bucket List I have provided ideas and resources for creating a summer bucket list.

Below you will find four easy steps to help you get started with your list:

1. Have each child and yourself come up with 2-5 things you would like to do this summer. You may need to provide guidelines for what is realistic and reasonable.
2. Have each person rank their ideas from most important/desirable to least important/desirable.
3. Once everyone has prepared their list, create a master list. Similar ideas may be able to be combined.
4. Get out a calendar and write in the date(s) for the activities or events that have specific dates. For the other activities try and plan out possible dates with your calendar.

You may want to post the Summer Bucket List on your refrigerator or somewhere convenient, to remind you of the dates and ideas. By creating a Summer Bucket List with your children, everyone is involved and gets to contribute. When you have a list and a plan, you are more likely to follow through and make it happen. Also, the list of activities can give you and your children something to be excited about and look forward to doing together.

I know how easy it is to get caught up in the many things you have to do as a single parent. The list of all the things you need to do and should do can be endless. I still struggle with letting things wait and allowing myself to have fun with the kids.

Another reason to do a Summer Bucket List, after  going through a divorce people can have a tendency to avoid getting out. Having a list of things to do will help you be more intentional about getting out.

Be sure to give yourself permission to enjoy your children and spend time with them this summer. Time together can be healing and rewarding for all of you. As always, feel free to leave any comments or ideas below. Love to hear from you.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

If you have recently become a single parent, this may be your first year to plan a summer vacation with just you and the children. If you have relocated from where you grew up, maybe you spend your summer vacations traveling back home to visit relatives and friends.

If you and your former spouse are from the same area, traveling back home for the first time can be awkward. My former husband and I both have family in Kansas City. I remember when I first took the kids back to visit my family and friends. At the time, when the separation/divorce was fresh it was a bit uncomfortable to go spend time with my in-laws.

My children were rather young so they pretty much went with the flow of wherever I would take them. I felt obligated to take my children to visit their other grandmother, aunt and uncle. Living in Colorado, my children had limited opportunities to see their relatives. I think it is important for them to know their relatives.

I recall contacting my mother-in-law and scheduling a time when she could have the kids for a few hours and have her daughter and son-in-law over to see them as well. I knew that in the future when their father would take the children to Kansas City, I would want my family to have the opportunity to see them.

Even though it was uncomfortable and not something I “really” wanted to do, I did it for the children and the relatives. Sometimes you have to put your own feelings aside and do what is best for the children and your former relatives. Your former relatives are still your children’s relatives.

If your summer travels take you where your former relatives are located, will you take the children to see their relatives? I understand every-one’s situation is unique. If possible, do what you can to arrange for your children to be able to visit their relatives, despite how you may feel.

For information on Planning A Summer Vacation as a Single Parent, click on the highlighted title to read my recent Ezine article. Feel free to leave comments, share experiences, or ask questions below concerning children and maintaining relationships with relatives and friends.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights reserved.

I often hear people use the terms Coaching and Counseling interchangeably. Coaching and Counseling are similar in that they typically involve one on one relationships focused on personal growth. The difference is Counseling involves diagnosing a client’s emotional or psychological state and helping a client become whole. Counseling looks at the whole person, past influences, present experiences and future aspirations to create awareness and help the client evolve personally.

Coaching on the other hand pushes a client to set goals and take action to solve the problem on their own. Coaching improves the quality of life by focusing on creating a better future. Coaching is not focused on fixing the past.

Both Coaching and Counseling are valid, useful and different methods for achieving personal growth. I would venture to say that most people going through a divorce could benefit from Counseling. Divorce can be emotionally devastating.  A good counselor can help a person going through divorce understand how they contributed to the break down in their marriage, deal with past issues from childhood, understand their communication and/or personality styles and how these factors affected their marriage relationship. A Counselor can help a person work through issues, address areas where the person may need to change, possibly understand their partner better, while providing support and encouragement.

Coaching sessions have an agenda, there are clear expectations and concrete goals. Coaches give very little advice and make few suggestions. Coaching is focused on motivating the client to make a change. Change is more of a function of being motivated than receiving information. A coach asks questions, listens to the client and encourages people to come up with their own solutions. A coach is a change expert who holds a client accountable, as they support and encourage a client to make desired changes. When we are held accountable, we are more likely to make changes.

Divorce is a life changing event. Processing and dealing with all of the changes can be overwhelming. A coach can help by asking questions, prompt you to go deeper, figure out what you truly want and desire. Once you determine what you want or desire, a coach can help you develop the appropriate action steps to achieve your goals.

Divorce is a time for discovery. Rediscovering “who” you are, “who” you were created to be, your life purpose, defining your values, aligning your life with what you value and living out your life purpose. Your marriage may have ended, but your life is not over. God can still use you and has a plan B for your life.

You are not destined to a life of misery because your marriage ended. Now is the perfect time to discover your destiny in life and start living it. Living out your destiny will bring fulfillment, blessings and joy.

I hope this post clarifies the difference between Coaching and Counseling. If you have any further questions about the two, please send me an email or leave a comment in the section below and I will be happy to respond.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

I hope you like the new look of A Hope Filled Future. I have been in the process of switching my blog platform to Blogi360. To some of you I know that means nothing and that is okay. I look forward to the greater flexibility, options and opportunities provided by Blogi360.

The look of A Hope Filled Future will continue to evolve as I learn more about the various options and capabilities of Blogi360. I believe Blogi360 will allow me to better serve my community.

I want to take this opportunity to invite you to submit any questions, ideas or topics that you would like me to address here on my blog. Is there a particular area where you are struggling with moving forward after your divorce? Do you have a question about ideas on how to handle some area of transitioning to single life? Single parenting? Do you wonder if other people have the same issue(s) you do? I invite you to send me an email at: shelley@ahopefilledfuture.com, or leave a comment below. I am happy to answer your questions or address your concerns.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

Forgiveness, this may not be a subject you want to talk about during or after a divorce. You may be saying to yourself, “Divorce is challenging enough. I am emotionally drained. Now I am suppose to forgive him/her? You must be kidding!”

Divorce is painful. One spouse may feel the other spouse is to blame because they were unfaithful, abusive, neglected the marriage, suffered from an addiction and refused to get help, or do the work for recovery. More than likely there is some degree of hurt and pain experienced by both spouses.

At some point when the dust settles, the divorce is final, and you are left to create a new life. What does that look like for you? How will you move forward? What will you do with the betrayal and injustice you feel?

Will you seek revenge? Will you hold onto the anger and bitterness you feel? Will you ignore the feelings, hoping that they will get better in time? You may continue to have contact with your former spouse (if children are involved) that feeds your hurt and pain? Does this just further confirm your right to be angry?

If your vision for your future includes being healthy both physically and emotionally, you will need to deal with your feelings of hurt, pain, anger, bitterness, and resentment. You will have a choice to make. Will you choose to forgive or not to forgive your former spouse? Not making a choice is still a choice.

For more information on forgiveness, I have written a couple of ezine articles. You can read them by clicking on the titles.

Forgiveness Part 1; Forgiveness is a Choice

Forgiveness Part 2; How Can I Possibly Forgive My Former Spouse?

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

How do you let go of the love? This was one of the questions asked during the teleseminar last week with Lynne Lee, Christian Coaching Cafe. As we ran out of time to answer all of the questions, I mentioned I would address questions on my blog.

As I started to write a response I realized there was so much information to cover that I wrote an ezine article Divorce Challenge: Letting Go of the Past. If you click on the title it will take you to the article.

Letting go of the past can be a real challenge, no doubt about it. During the call we talked about a woman who had been married for 40 years when her husband left her. I imagine she invested 40 plus years in her relationship with her husband, planning for retirement, building their future together. How devastating to have her life and future plans, perhaps goals and dreams shattered. My heart and prayers go out to this woman.

Obviously a long term marriage requires more effort, work, and healing in recovery than a short term marriage. Here in the states, a short term marriage is less than 10 years and a long term marriage is 10 or more years. Letting go of a long term marriage will take persistence and determination. God still has a good plan for her future, just as He does for you and me.

If you are struggling with letting go of the past, if you know what you need to do to move forward but cannot seem to let go, I suggest getting someone to help you. Having someone come along side you to help you identify what is holding you back, how you might overcome the challenge, the steps you can take, encouraging you, supporting you and holding you accountable, may be what you need to push past this road block.

If you have issues from the past to work through, you may want to seek counseling or therapy. If you have tried a support group or divorce recovery group, yet feel like you could use more individual support and direction, then life coaching may be what you need to move forward.

If you are interested in exploring life coaching, please contact me. I would be happy to discuss the coaching process with you and whether or not life coaching would benefit you and your situation.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

During my teleseminar last Thursday with Lynne Lee, I shared some websites and resources for people going through divorce, or on their path of recovery from divorce. I mentioned that I would post some resources on my blog. Below you will find a list of resources that you may find helpful, educational and useful.

divorce360.com Provides help, advice and community for people contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it - custody, child support, alimony and litigation

DivorceCare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. Don’t go through separation or divorce alone.

DivorceCare seminars and support groups are led by people who understand what you are going through and want to help. You’ll gain access to valuable DivorceCare resources to help you deal with the pain of the past and look forward to rebuilding your life.

There are thousands of DivorceCare divorce recovery support groups meeting throughout the US, Canada and in other countries around the world. There’s one meeting near you!

EMwomen (EMpowering Women), is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping women and girls make lasting and significant life changes that result in their ability to become catalysts of positive change within their families, community, and the world. This is a Christian based group, with many resources, small groups. It is not a “divorce” site, but offers some encouraging and empowering information. A place to connect and network with others.

iheartsingleparents.com A friendly, authentic and inviting community! Our goal is to bring single parents together in a positive atmosphere for support, inspiration and fun. Meet other single moms and dads that “get it” when it comes to going it alone.

kidshealth.org This site offers help getting your child through a divorce.

Parenting as a Christian Single Dad- This is a blog written by a Christian Single Dad for you men and yet some of the single mom’s may find it interesting as well.

picketfences.com A Divorce Recovery Network for Christian women.

ezinearticles.com you can search ezine articles for valuable information about all aspects of divorce.

If you are on FaceBook, search for divorce related groups.

I hope you will find some of these resources of value and interest. If you have any sites you have found informative that you think would be helpful for others, please feel free to share them in the comments section below.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.