Today, April 20, 2009, marks the 10th Anniversary of theColumbine High School shootings. Living in Colorado, not far from Denver where the shootings took place, this day sparks significant memories for me. You may recall hearing about the two teenage gunmen, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold who massacred 12 students and a teacher.
This was a tragic day for many people. When an event like this happens so close to home, it somehow becomes more real. You receive more media coverage because it is local. You realize if something of this magnitude can happen 40 miles away, it could possibly happen in your town as well.
This day was also significant for me because it was the day that I knew in my heart that my marriage was over. You see it was in December 1998 that my husband had informed me “he wasn’t happy.” We had met with a Social Worker through his company work program for counseling, a couple of times in January. My husband then decided he should seek some counseling on his own. He began meeting with a psychiatrist. After meeting with the psychiatrist several times, the doctor helped him reach the conclusion that it was okay to take care of yourself and do whatever to make yourself “happy.”
At the time I had been meeting with someone from the counseling department from our church. The pastor said he would be willing to meet with my husband. In my mind my husband needed to hear some Godly advice and wisdom, rather than the “worldly” advice he had received from his psychiatrist. I was hopeful when my husband agreed to meet with Gary. Certainly Gary would be able to help my husband see our situation from a Godly perspective.
The afternoon of April 20, 1999 was when my husband was scheduled to meet with Gary. I remember vividly my husband coming home from work that day, standing in our kitchen telling him about the Columbine shootings because he had not heard about it yet. After informing him of this horrific event, I asked him about his meeting with Gary.
As he told me the details of the conversation, some of Gary’s questions and how he responded, my heart sank. He never said the words, but I knew in my heart at that moment that our marriage was over. A day that was already horrible now became unbelievably awful. The day of the Columbine Massacre became a defining moment in my life. Whenever that historically tragic day is mentioned, I think I will forever correlate it to the day I knew my marriage was over.
How about you, was there a defining moment when you knew your marriage was over? Or did it progress over time and you cannot say exactly when you knew there was little to no hope in saving your marriage? Although I knew my marriage was over on that day, I continued to pray and hope for a miracle. It was not until January 5, 2001 that my husband officially told me he was ready to move on.
I wonder about your story? Did you come to the realization that your marriage was over, for a period of time, before it resulted in divorce? Did you hang on praying and hoping for a miracle? Were you left hanging in limbo while your spouse gathered the courage to actually go through with a divorce? Please feel free to share your comments or story below.
In memory of the Columbine victims, may God bless and surround their families and loved ones with His comfort, grace, love and perfect peace as they remember their loved ones and that tragic day in history.
Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.
